Condemnation of the Coup in Eastern Haane

Councillor Bauer stormed into the room. "This is an idiotic law made by idiotic people. None of you are experts on this matter, and neither am I. This must be devolved to the true experts, in constant communion with the total environment of all Europe, who are all knowing and all seeing, above all, omnipotent!" She screamed for a total of three minutes, dancing around the room and sniffing various councillors' hair before sitting back down. "This is an outrage! I am the representative of the Haanean people, the only representative. Throw this cockroach out; throw him out, for he has been cast out by the Haanean ecology, who he has betrayed. It is screaming curses as it dies as a result of his murderous actions, do you not hear it? DO YOU NOT HEAR IT! SCREAMING, SCREAMING, SCREAMING! LISTEN, YOU NEOLIBERAL IDIOTS! LISTEN TO THE SCREAMING, AND RESIGN! FOR YOU ARE TOTALLY USELESS; YOU ARE THE USURPERS OF THE POWER THAT RIGHTFULLY BELONGS TO THOSE OF THE ORGANIC SOCIETAL ORGANS OTHER THAN YOURS, YOU ARE USELESS! USELESS! USELESS! TRAIN YOURSELVES, BE ONE WITH THE TRUE ORGAN IF YOU WISH NOT TO BE USELESS. COMMUNE! COMMUNE COMMUNE!" She took a kitchen knife from her pocket and began to wave it around, a wild look in her eyes. "LONG LIVE JOSEPHINE AREAI, THE HOLY REPRESENTATIVE OF THE HAANEAN NATION AND THE EQUALITY, WHO IS AND WAS AND WILL COME, RESPECTED AND LOVED BY ALL. SHE IS INCULPABLE, SHE IS ABOVE ALL!"

Czech Slavia

"Yes."

Václav Kohout
Councillor for Czech Slavia

Leagio

Francis Plessis quickly pressed the panic button on his desk to call for security. Out of all of his years of public service, this woman was completely out of wack and insane. Probably the most insane woman that he had ever meet. The Security Guards rushed in and quickly tackled Bauer to the ground like a doll and knocked the knife off her hands, where they began to put cuffs on her as she was kicking and screaming.

"DEATH TO NEOLIBERALISM!" screamed Bauer as she was carried out of the room. She flailed, kicking the guards, kicking everything in her way. "HEAR THE SCREAMS OF YOUR NATIONS AS THEY DIE BEFORE YOU! HEAR THEM! YOU SHALL BE CONDEMNED TO HELLFIRE FOREVER. IN THE NAME OF HER HOLINESS JOSEPHINE AREAI DO I SAY THIS!" She managed to bite one of the security guards, causing him to yelp in sudden pain; he let go of her, after which she attempted to slither back to the councillors, screaming "DEATH TO YOU ALL! YOU ARE THE USURPERS OF THE HOLY AND ORDAINED SOCIETAL ORGAN FOR THESE PURPOSES, OUT OF COMMUNION WITH THE GREAT BREATHING ECOLOGY OF EUROPE! IT PULSES AND IT SCREAMS! PULSING, PULSING, SCREAMING, SCREAMING! LISTEN! PLEDEG ALLEGIANCE TO JOSEPHINE AREAI, THE GREAT REPRESENTATIVE OF THE GREAT ECOLOGY, THROUGH WHICH ALL THINGS ARE REPRESENTED AND KNOWN. SHE IS ALL, ALL IS HER. GOODBYE. DIE! DIE! DIE!" The security guards managed to get ahold of her, and dragged her out of the room. Her screaming could still be heard.

Leagio

"Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, i am getting too old for this. That is it, i am not running for re-election next year. Leave it to the next generation." Francis thought to himself.

Spain

Tusk looked at everybody with a "what did just happen" face. He was next to Francis Plessis and Speaker Firoux, such an honour. He approached to Francis and muttered:

"Now I do understand when European Government said What the hell is going on in Eastern Haane my friend."

He thought: "At all, this is a very common style from the Mennrimian Councillor, who actually cares about this copy? Oh wait, it was much better than that. Sigh."

Fremet

Michel had been filling out a crossword puzzle while the meshuggener had her way with the Council. He was familiar with this kind of crazed behaviour, having spent many hours negotiating with the Nicoleizians after the fall of the Dairy Curtain. As Bauer pulled a kitchen knife on the Council, his mind jumped back to a time when a certain Nicoleizian trade minister stabbed him with a fork, leaving a quite noticeable scar on Charles' hand. He never did tell the press why he had the embassy switch to plastic cutlery. He put down the Der Trondheimmer Crossword and spoke:

"Well, if that was any indication of the nature of Josephine Areai's regime, this Council must act decisively to preserve what little semblance of democracy is left in Eastern Haane. We may not be able to end countless instances of bloodshed, violence, and instability in one resolution, but we cannot be frozen in inaction as one of our memberstates quite literally tears itself apart.

I'd also like to take a moment to applaud the security services for their prompt action in protecting the members of this body, though I do have one suggestion: maybe not let obviously deranged persons into the chamber with metallic cutlery next time?"

Charles Michel
Councillor for the Kingdom of Fremet

Leagio

"I agree with Councilor Michel on that motion over crazy people. I am not sure where this falls on but there should be more safety measures for the representatives of the people of EU. This incident could have ended really poor if she had a gun."

Francis Plessis
Councilor for Leagio

Unfortunately, I believe that that woman was the interim councillor for the Areai government. Given that the EU still recognizes her as State Elder, technically she is more legitimate than I am. Nothing could have been done to prevent her from entering the chamber; she had more right to do so than me.

Martin Bourgaize
Councillor for the Republic of Eastern Haane

Inquista

Speaker Firoux spent the entire wild encounter adjusting his hair after Bauer ever so rudely came to sniff it. The Speaker meticulously fiddled with his black curls and carefully placed them in the most aesthetically-pleasing presentation. Speaker Firoux then studied his hair using his phone's camera, and then grabbed a Marrakechian oil spritzer from his suitcase and sprayed it into his hair.

How rude of that woman to cause such an disturbance, particularly on a day when I was having such a good hair day. I must commend Councillor Plessis for his cat-like reactions in pressing that panic button. I also have to commend Council Security for keeping us safe. Our security has come very far since the days of Mr. Eric Pickles being kidnapped from this chamber. May God rest his soul. I would like to remind everyone that our self defence seminar will be happening next week Tuesday at 6PM. After this incident, I expect to see you all there. I'm bringing snacks.

Phew, anyway. Councillor Bourgaize, per the Elected and Accountable Council Act, you are the legitimate and only Councillor of your country. I don't believe that woman was elected to her position by the Haanean people, and I doubt her appointment met any of criteria stipulated in the aforementioned act. Thus, until that happens, you are your country's Councillor.

Edward Firoux
Council Speaker and Councillor for Inquista

Inquista

My apologies for the significant delay. Debate is now over and there are 3 amendments to vote upon. Amendment I and III clash, so please take note of that when voting. The amendments are thus:

Amendment I - Proposed by Cllr. Tusk
Section I

The European Union condemns the coup of Josephine Areai in Eastern Haane, as well as the actions taken by rogue groups to terrorize the citizens of the country.
The European Union shall recognize only the Republic of Eastern Haane for the purposes of representation in the European Council.
Member-states of the European Union are ~~permitted~~ allowed to recognize ~~the Soviet Republic of Eastern Haane, as well as~~ the State of Haane-Keste, as well as the Republic of Eastern Haane, as legitimate states.

Amendment II - Proposed by Cllr. Tusk
Section II

~~Military~~ Any and all agreements between member-states of the European Union and the government of Josephine Areai, as well as any terrorist groups in Eastern Haane, are hereby suspended. Negotiation with said government and groups, save for the purposes of the reestablishment of democracy, rescue of foreign people and stability, is banned.
All ~~luxury~~ goods and services traded between areas held by the government of Josephine Areai or by terrorist groups in Eastern Haane are hereby embargoed.

Amendment III - Proposed by Cllr. Tilki
Section 1

The European Union condemns the coup of Josephine Areai in Eastern Haane, as well as the actions taken by rogue groups to terrorize the citizens of the country.
The European Union shall recognize only the Republic of Eastern Haane for the purposes of representation in the European Council.
~~3. Member-states of the European Union are permitted to recognize the Soviet Republic of Eastern Haane, as well as the State of Haane-Keste, as legitimate states.~~

Voting on amendments will commence NOW and will last until 02:30 GMT on September 22nd, 2020.

I vote FOR Amendments I and II, and vote AGAINST Amendment III.

Edward Firoux
Council Speaker and Councillor for Inquista

Spain

I vote FOR Amendments I and II, and vote AGAINST Amendment III.

Donald D. Tusk
Councillor for Spain

Inimicus

The Empire of Inimicus votes FOR Amendments II and III, and AGAINST Amendment I.

Hetty Tilki
Empire of Inimicus

I am quite sorry for the disturbance and the time that this has wasted, but as Eastern Haane is to leave the European Union quite soon, I believe that there is no real use for this act anymore.

I hereby request it to be withdrawn.

Martin Bourgaize
Councillor for Eastern Haane

Inquista

No apology is needed, Councillor Bourgaize. There is no way you could have foreseen the events which have since unfolded. This bill has been formally withdrawn from further consideration.

Edward Firoux
Council Speaker and Councillor for Inquista