Internal Affairs Commissioner Debate
With Lex Burnley

Lex Burnley: Hello, hallo, hola, bonjour, ciao, ahoj, and welcome to the Internal Affairs Commission debate, where we are streaming live from the Gisela Stuart Firoux Cultural Centre here in Europolis. My name is Lex Burnley, and I will be kiki-ing tonight's debate sesh.
Oooooh, gworl. Europe has done already had herses, and she's still going through it. Just when we thought we've seen it all, there's always another disaster, catastrophe or day in Strathae waiting to battle the European Union. Tonight, we are joined by seven girlbosses and/or political has-beens who stand ready to "serve" the European Union as your next Internal Affairs Commissioner. Only one lucky candidate will have the honour of snatching the title of Internal Affairs Commissioner, and the Eurocrat pension prize that comes along with it. Who decides who wins? You get to decide, Europe!
Of the seven kings and queens standing before us, we have, from left to right, the OG girlboss Maragret Thatcher, a hologram of transracial icon Kittichat Thongthang -who is simultaneously debating in the Premier Commission debates at this very moment, former Commission 2nd-runner up and mister congeniality Joe Biden, the not-actually-dead-but-still-living Ilmaras Kalessed of the PEL, Paul-Gabrielle Muzhare who is serving EPA realness, strong independent woman Sanna Marin, and last but not least, Sebastian Piñera Echenique, who is the first Ganian many of us have ever heard of.
Let's take a moment to familiarise ourselves with the rules of tonight's kiki before all the contestants - I mean candidates - begin spilling the tea. Each candidate shall begin by making an opening statement, which shall last only as long as any of my former boyfriends, which is a maximum of 2 minutes at best ((OOC: 300 words)). Once all the candidates are done spilling the tea, there will be a free clapback period ((OOC: 24 hours)) where all of the candidates can drag each other freely across the stage, provided that they only do so for 1 minute at a time ((OOC: 150 words)).
The clapback period will be followed-up by our question period, in which I will select especially pointed and passive-aggressive questions from Political Stan Twitter, and ask all of the candidates to answer them. All candidates will have 2 minutes ((OOC: 300 words)) to answer these questions, followed by a shade-throwing period in which candidates can read other to absolute filth, but must keep their responses as short as Queen Anastasia's engagement to Prince William, which was about 1 minute long ((OOC: 150 words)).
Once all the tea has been spilt, we'll end this spectacle with closing statements, in which each candidate can just off for like 2 minutes ((OOC: 300 words)).
If any candidate has been dragged by another candidate on stage, then the candidate in question can clapback right away with a short 1 minute statement ((OOC: 150 words)).
I don't want to miss tonight's episode of Red Croatia's Next Flop Model, so we can't go over time. So, ladies, we need to be quick and clear with our responses ((OOC: if you are not answering questions during the allotted timeframe, or are being inactive, then we will not wait for you. Keep up, and stay active in the debate)).
Alrighty then, let us enjoy our last few moments of light, because some serious shade is about to go down. My dears, please begin by making your opening statements ((OOC: you will have approximately 24 hours to make your statements)).