Spanish Aniversary Day
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And now we should look to the sky again.
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"How wonderful" said Cayetana.
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It is. Answers Jesús.
And now, the last mens units.
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Let me say I love La Legión's goat.
And I think that's the end of the parade.
The Kingdom of Spain
His Majesty the King, Felipe VI
President Alberto Núñez-Feijóo
Councillor and Council Speaker Donald Tusk -
Irene hugged Mikaela "Sweetie lets not waste time lets go to Ibiza."
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Mikaela screeched as she hugged Irene. "I've been planning this party for so long! It's been forever, a whole three weeks I think, since I was last in Ibiza. At least one of Anastasia's weddings ago."
She let go of Irene and then grabbed Captain Fernandez-Velasquez by his hand. "I'm hosting a party in Ibiza! You're going to come, right?"
"Err... Ibiza is not really my thing, it's full of tourists," the Captain groaned before being interrupted by Mikaela.
"I'm pretty much a TOTAL local there. Everyone speaks the local language to me. They even think I'm Ibizan! I just politely tell them, 'non, merci', but that I love their culture. I'm kinda like, a big culture nerd. I know you wouldn't think that looking at me, but people underestimate my smarts all the time."
Captain Fernandez-Velasquez stared at Mikaela blankly and smiled.
"So you're coming to Ibiza?" Mikaela wondered.
"Yes," the Captain relented, placing both his hands around Mikaela's waist.
Mikaela spun around and excitedly extended her arms up in victory. "Hey everyone, we're going to Ibiza! You're all invited! Irene, Anastasia, Cayetana, you're flying with me! "
Capitán Fernandez-Velasquez, Queen Irene, Prime Minister Cayetana Valcárcel-Aranjuez y Pérez de Viñastre and Queen Anastasia flying private with Mikaela Kligenberg in her jet.▻ We're Going to Ibiza! by the Vengaboys is playing at full volume.
"Woah! We're going to Ibiza! Woah! Back to the island! Woah! We're gonna have a party! Woah! In the Mediatennean sea!" Mikaela sings as she dances.
Mikaela spun around and began dancing with her Capitán. After a few disappointingly shocking moments of shaking her flat ass, Mikaela remembered that she had stocked the fridge of her private jet with an unnecessarily large amount of alcohol. Mikaela then threw her hands into the air. "We need to make sure that we arrive at the party ahead of the curve. We're not playing catch up. We're setting the tone."
Mikaela then cleared her throat before announcing, "We all know what that means. It's time for..."
▻ Shots by LMFAO and Lil Jon begins to blast.
The crew takes to the dance floor at the club in Ibiza.Mikaela, El Capitán, Irene, Anastasia and Cayetana arrive before everyone else, which was too early for her comfort. Mikaela knew that Irene was always one to arrive fashionably late, so she was sure to owe Irene an apology.
"Everyone will be arriving shortly. I guess this is what happens when we're too eager to leave the pre-party too early. In fairness, the parade was kinda boring, so this is still probably for the best," Mikaela said, trying to make excuses to escape Irene's wrath. "Oh, except getting to see him. That wasn't boring," Mikaela whispered as she smiled at her Captain, who was tearing up the dance floor, doing literal back-flips and absolutely crazy dance moves. The Captain seemed to be a genuinely skilled street dancer and was pulling off some amazing stuns. Mikaela's mouth dropped open as she stared at him. "He's the best dancer I've ever seen!"
▻ Es Una Pasiva by Willem then starts playing.
Mikaela let out a loud squeal. "This is my song! C'mon Irene, let's dance!"
Mikaela pulled Irene to middle of the dance floor. "This will be the best Penelope Cruz birthday bash, ever," Mikaela said, still unsure of what the Spanish anniversary was. "It's time to get our big booty on. Show me what you got, girl."
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Cayetana gave Mikaela the basilisk's look, as she grabbed Irene from her side and took her to the dance-floor. She had barely managed to introduce herself, when the Inquistan came out of nowhere and took the Red Croatian queen away.
"Damn it." she thought. "What's with all the fine couture? I thought the dress code was business formal."
"I have to find the way to attract Irene's attention, and what I'm wearing could only attract an angry mob of fashion designers."
Cayetana approached the bar and asked the waiter if there was anywhere that she could get changed. Gladly, she had thought about the possibility of a state dinner being held at the Spanish royal palace, so she'd brought a stylish and fiery black silk gown with her, just in case.
"All these hoes are wearing their pristine white dresses, as if they were prudish teenagers at a cotillion. But I'm going to be the black pussycat of this party!" she said to herself while trying to get into the dress, bumping her arms and legs against the 2m^2 toilet's walls.
When she came out, though, nobody was to be seen.
"Ladies, where are you? Is this a prank?" gasped Cayetana. "Man I hate clubs. You always get lost."
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Somewhere Docked in Ibiza
As the Crescent sat docked on one of the larger berths in the marina, Theodora Kligenberg was busy with her entourage enjoying life and holding a fairly short impromptu business meeting on the deck. Everyone seemed to be dressed up to go out, including Theodora. However, business is business and had to be taken care of before they just went out on the town.
"Okay, we are going to launch the knew TR Beauty Mediterranean Splendour palette next month. The lab finally got back to me on that pressed pigments situation with the reds. I hope you all know how HARD this was to make a palette of mostly purple, red and gold," Theodora said at the meeting. "But I know this will sell; it's a unique colour story tied together with the essence of Rome."
The assembled group nodded.
"Well, any questions then?" asked Theodora. "No? Then let's have a few drinks before we get off this boat. It was quite the journey to get here but the Queen told me that she had an inkling some shenanigans would go down at something like this. She heard stories about how Nicolezians princes, Rechcroatian queens and even an Inquistan Archbishop really could throw a wild fete! Plus, as we got closer...cousin Mikaela mentioned that she was on her way to Spain as well."
The staff brought up several bottles of Krug Brut, the champagne company that she now owned with some good investing. Theodora looked at the bottle and picked one up for herself. She had a famous penchant for a good champagne and had been known to drink a couple of bottles on a successful night out.
"Alright, now all of you take at least a bottle. I know I'll be having one to myself before heading out. Maybe a second. Who knows. But a toast! A toast to TR Cosmetics, a £500 million company. May it continue to grow and flourish, and may I do it with such brilliant company," Theodora smiled before taking the beautifully crafted bottle straight to the head.
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Anastasia had landed in Ibiza with the rest of the crew. She never tired of hearing Mikaela talk, it was like listening to a talking puppy. Naive but well intentioned. Anastasia had caught the eye of El Capitán several times, she asked the Nicoleizian God, the best God, why she couldn’t find a man like that. “He’s so strong, he could probably lift me.” She thought to herself. Not like the (late) Nicholas Kligenberg, who had died of natural causes. “He was so annoying. I can’t believe I rented a boat for our wedding.” She continued her internal monologue. “That was expensive and SO not carbon neutral…” Anastasia noticed that the venue was rather empty -- she loved this. There was nothing she hated more than a crowded place. Though this evening, she vowed to be social, look for something special that Nicholas Kligenberg (God rest his soul) could never manage.
Anastasia decided to get a jaeger bomb. When in Ibiza she supposed. She strolled up to the bar and rang the bell because no one was there serving, as it was lowkey quiet.
“One second!” a familiar voice cried out. Anastasia pondered as to who it was. Why could she hear a Nicoleizian accent in the heart of Spain?
From the beaded curtains emerged Prince Tommy with a crate of Four Lokos. Without thinking or looking, he said “what’ll it be?”
The siblings took a double take and Tommy lay silent.
“Thomas.” Anastasia said, using his first name for the first time since he broke into the National Gallery to get a good background for his Instagram post. "What are you doing here?”
“Good question. Well, I met a man called Carlos.”
“THE Carlos?”
“What do you mean?” Tommy said.
“Nevermind. So you came to Spain with this man, then what happened?”
“Well Carlos had to go to Saint Regina to compete in some contest, so he left. He’s still not come back so I’m still just staying in his apartment. But I ran out of money so I had to get this job here.”
“Why didn’t you call me? Or WhatsApp me on the Romanov Group Chat.”
“I honestly like living the proletariat lifestyle, Anastasia. Maybe those communists have got a point. And anyway, no one recognises me because I guess the Spanish have enough news of their own without me on all the front-pages.”
“So are you saying that monarchy is an outdated system of running a country now?”
“Well yeah sis.”
“Disgraceful. Give me a jaeger bomb now.”
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Irene von Taurus
Irene wasn't mad that she arrived to the party early, as under these specific circumstances arriving early was a status symbol - because it meant that she was among the first to escape the dreary parade and dinner. "I hate tradition. It's an excuse to recreate the things your ancestors from 500 years ago found entertaining without adding anything new to them. No creativity, no innovation, no drama."
Angry and annoyed, she went on Yelp and left a horrible review about Spain. "Gee, thanks for the amazing parade. If this were 876 B. C. and we were celebrating victory at The Battle of Perra, I would've been honored to be a part of such a modern and culturally relevant event." She then left a couple of similarly nasty comments on YouTube.
During the party, she enjoyed being the center of attention as usual, but she wanted more excitement. Everything about it was too typical, too beige. "This is probably how the typical Red Croatian pre-adolescent parties. Going to Ibiza, dancing to bad music and drinking overpriced alcohol. This is basic."
Irene looked around the room, searching for inspiration, and realized why she's not having fun. Though she was in a room full of powerful men and women, even some queens, none of them were as dynamic and lively as Irene herself was. Who in this Nicoletzian God forsaken room could she rely on to start the party?
"I'll show these bitches how it's really done."
Irene smirked and grabbed her cellphone, knowing exactly what to do.
"Hey, JLo? We are having a party in Ibiza and the theme is big booty bitches..."
Jenny from the Block
Suddenly, the whole club went dark except one small spot in which a glamurous diva stood, her back facing the shocked crowd. "Ibiza... Prepare for maximum impact..." She lipsynced even the speaking part, which was recorded for her by Natasha Ramos earlier, but who cared? She looked great and was supposedly a talented actress.
The diva then turned around and revealed her identity. It was the Big Booty Bitch herself... Jennifer Lopez. The crowd went wild as she began to perform a mashup of of Dance Again and Call My Name (ESSENTIAL listening). Even though even the lipsync track was consistently off key by two notes, who cared? She looked great and was a talented actress, the exact things you want out of a musical performer.
"This one goes out for the biggest big booty bitch in the world, Irene! Queen I am so honored to be performing for you. Dreams really do come true..." That was the only part of the show that wasn't lipsynced, but it went better than expected: her voice only cracked twice while she was saying it.
The party definitively became more lit after Jlo's surprise appearance, and Irene knew that Mikaela's reaction would stir some more drama later, but she kept on looking for more opportunities to have fun and start some trouble. The Queen was aware of her power and was NOT afraid to use it.
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@Spain said in Spanish Aniversary Day:
Let me say I love La Legión's goat.
And I think that's the end of the parade.
Mr. Docu really liked the parade. He was a man of the details, and he admired the attention that was given to the detail. It wasn't barebones. It wasn't "just essentials". It was everything.
"Truly beautiful." Two words came out of Mr. Docu's mouth.
"Indeed, it is." The King replied.
Mr. Docu had written these words, so he can send it to Lacu once he comes back to Malborya.
"An eye have not seen something this beautiful. I will tell you more face-to-face. Also, you're dumb."
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Jesús hears the conversation. Then, he turns into them and say:
Thanks for your comments. I hope you liked it. Normally, they spend 3 months for prepare the parade. There are many rules to follow, many details that not many see or understand why they do that. And others, do.
That's why there are many ways to understand this parade.
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Back at the Parade
"Thank you so much for the outstanding hospitality and parade; I thoroughly enjoyed everything you had to offer," the Queen said to the Spanish delegation. "Juan Carlos, Letizia...you are wonderful guests and both myself and the Prime Minister would love to have you in Aurelis sometime soon."
The Prime Minister nodded. "Thank you so much; we will take our leave but it is of course an honour to be here in Spain."
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Juan Carlos and Leticia give the queen and the PM 2 kisses and say:
Thanks to you for coming. You're the ones that made this even more special. Of course, no rush to leave.
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Since the music was playing so loudly, Mikaela couldn't really hear what Theodora was saying to her over the phone. She was standing in the middle of the dance floor, music on blast, and screaming into her mobile device. "Where am I!? Is that what you're asking!? Uhh, I'm in Ibiza, which is in... I'm not really sure what country! Hello!? Oh! What club!? It's called El Burro Marica!"
Mikaela hung up the phone when she suddenly saw Prince Tommy of Icholasen appear out of nowhere with a crate of Four Lokos. Mikaela's heart began to beat fast and her eyes glistened. Prince Tommy was Mikaela's favourite burro marcia. Mikaela carefully observed how Tommy then began to fix up a jaeger bomb for his sister Anastasia. Mikaela walked up to the pair of royal siblings.
"Tommy! I can't believe you're here! I tried inviting you, but when I called, it said your phone was no longer in service. I ended up texting your number neighbour instead and met this lovely geriatric woman, Candace, who I invited in your place."
Mikaela pointed toward a very old lady in a wheelchair, who was seated in the very far corner of the club, sitting completely motionless with her head slung backwards.
"Isn't she lovely?" Mikaela mused before then waving and shouting at her. "Hey! Candace! Great party, huh? Looking fab, girl!"
Candace remained motionless in the far corner, with her face glazed over and her eyes open, but not blinking.
"She's a wild one. I bet she's already drunk out of her mind. Although, speaking of getting drunk out of their mind, Tommy, I hope you're staying sober. Tonight is Penelope Cruz's birthday and I don't think we can afford to have one of your episodes tonight," Mikaela said, placing her hand on Tommy's shoulder.
Mikaela suddenly gasped as she touched Tommy. "Oh my gosh, Tommy. Tell me it's not true. There are vicious rumours going around... people are saying you're like... working an actual job. Please tell me who started this slander and I promise you I will make sure that it stops. I have a very good lawyer who specializes in libel cases. He's the one I used against you several times when you said terrible things about me in the press. The one who called you a terrible, spoiled brat with crippling addictions? You remember him? I can give you his number."
Mikaela interrupted her long-winded and one-sided conversation by taking sip of her vodka soda before continuing. "Oh, and Tommy! You have to see the man I got myself. You'll be so jealous," Mikaela gushed as she pointed to Captain Fernandez-Velasquez, who had now taken his shirt off to show his entire naked chest. The Captain was still pulling off his wild dance moves on the dance floor, performing complicated stunts that seemed to be like gymnastic acrobatics.
"I know you could never get anything like that, but don't worry, because I have a plan. See, I always have your back? I've always had this fantasy you know, of like..." Mikaela explained in a hushed tone, pointing to herself, then towards the Captain, and then at Tommy. "You know how they say one's company, two's a crowd, and three's a party? Well, if you behave yourself, maybe we can have a party at the end of the night. Who knows?"
Mikaela's proposition was suddenly cut short when she heard the most fabulous remix of her song Call My Name playing. Mikaela turned around and shouted in excitement. Mikaela's excitement quickly turned to dread, however, as she heard JLo's voice take over the track. "No, not again!" Mikaela yelled, dropping her vodka soda onto the ground.
Mikaela's eyes darted around the club when she suddenly saw JLo live in the flesh, lip syncing away to the song. "What is she doing here? I said no JLo!" Mikaela thought to herself. Mikaela's eyes then darted to Irene, who seemed to be enjoying herself. "Irene von Scorpious!" Mikaela thought.
Mikaela then took at JLo. "I can't believe she has the audacity to steal my song, then show up unannounced at my own event, and then put her own lyrics over yet another song of mine. The audacity of her. The A-U-D-A-C-I-T-Y!"
She had no idea how to rectify the situation and felt paralyzed. Mikaela then glanced back at Irene and slowly began to move toward her. "Irene, this is officially the worst Penelope Cruz birthday bash ever," she said upon reaching Irene, with tears welling up in her eyes. "The big booty bitches party has been ruined. What should I do? What can I even do? JLo is here!"
Mikaela then grabbed Irene by both her shoulders and began shaking her violently like one of her shake weight exercise routines. "Help me!"
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Cayetana suddenly noticed how a circle of people formed around what seemed to be two women fighting
"I wonder what all of that is about" she thought. "Finally something interesting!"
The Duchess of Athenaesios approached the mob and found Mikaela shaking her beloved Irene's sculpted shoulders rather vigorously.
"What should I do?" she said to herself. "Forget that I am the head of state and government of one of the economic powers of Europe and punch that whore in the face or do nothing to protect my queen and cowardly let that psycho break Irene's delicate collarbones, as to maintain my dignity?"Cayetana, having had a glass or eight too many of neat Brandy de Jerez on the rocks hadn't understood that Mikaela was actually asking for Irene's help, and strode towards the Inquistan with an aim to destroy.
"What the actual f*** do YOU think you're doing, you dirty plebe? Don't you know you lumpens are meant to treat us nobles with R E S P E C T? Get your prole hands off her right now!" she shouted with a slurred voice. "Are you okay, my queen? Duchess of Athenaesios, at Your Majesty's service and pleasure."
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Somewhere in Ibiza...
Hello, this is the 112,what's your emergency?
The 112 agent notes the emergency.
Thanks, we'll be there as soon as possible. Hungs up the phone and calls Policía Nacional.
Hi there, calling from 112. A person has reported many scandal on El Burro Marica bar. Let me send you the coordinates.
"Ok, we'll be there now"
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Though the other guests were letting themselves go and acting like fools, Irene was very aware of the paparazzi at this event and how they were going to portray all of this drama. She already knew that by looking insanely good and getting JLo's singular attention she made herself a star of the show, but she wanted to take it further.
She looked at the drama between JLo, Mikaela and Cayetana as a golden chance to get herself good publicity. She first affirmed Mikaela and tried to push her into acting on her worst instinct. "I say you go up and slap her off the stage. Who does she think she is?"
Then, after seeing an angry Cayetana verbally attack Mikaela, she whispered in her ear to manipulate some more drama out of this. "Oh, thank you for protecting me. I have such a thing for strong women who can push nuisances out of the way..." As she was whispering, she seductively touched Cayetana's big booty, suggesting that she's in for a reward if she fucks Mikaela up. *Will you do that for me?" she uttered, elegantly walking away in case Cayetana obeys.
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Tommy cleaned up the broken glass that Mikaela spilled. "Why did I suggest changing to glass cups instead of plastic cups? Honestly screw the planet if it’s sustaining life such as Mikaela’s.” Tommy thought to himself, scooping up the glass from the floor, and then mopping over the already sticky floor. Soon, the floor would become so sticky it would become unbearable. Tommy finished up cleaning while all hell broke loose and went back to the bar and thought about what Mikaela had said to him. In thinking, he forgot the “Suelo Mojado” (wet floor) sign! Dios mio! While Tommy watched WWE: Spain unfold in front of him, he tried, in vain, to process what Mikaela had said to him. He realised now that everyone back home would know he works here, so he could no longer avoid them and the press, people might come to Ibiza for him, rather than cheap package holidays.
What also bothered him, is that Mikaela didn’t think he had someone here in Spain. I mean why else live in Ibiza if it wasn’t the ancestral home of his - well, he didn’t know exactly what him and Carlos were. It had been several days since his competition, whatever that was, and Carlos still hadn’t returned to Ibiza so Tommy was annoyed. But annoyed enough to have a revenge threesome with a soldier and Mikaela Kligenberg?
Anastasia came up to the bar and gestured at the folly. “Tommy what are you going to do about this mess?”
“Uhh, watch I guess? I can’t afford cable so this is the best entertainment I’ve had in weeks.”
“You are totally amoral, you know that?”
“Yes.”
“Okay maybe it is a little entertaining, can I come behind the bar though? I don’t want to become collateral damage.”
“That dress IS collateral damage. But of course, come back here.”
Anastasia came behind the bar, grabbed a drink and filled it half way with gin, and halfway with tonic.
“You’ll have to pay for that you know.”
“What? No mates rates?” Anastasia said mid-sip.
