An Afternoon with Corinna - "Constitutional Amendment? Sleepy Joe is snoring at his office"

She is the most searched woman on Europe. Her crime? Playing with the rumours that affirm she will run for Premier Commissioner on the next European elections. Luckily for The Europolis Post, we have managed to find and offer her an interview, which she accepted. For those who don't know Corinna, she is the very same woman that made King Juan Carlos I of Spain, El Capitán Juan Bernardo Fernández-Velázquez and the Czech Minister of Culture, Karel Šín, cheat on their respective lovers.
Although it seemed to be an easy job to meet with Ms. Larsen, it was not. Corinna sent us the location of where the interview would take place just a few hours before it started, and I was lucky enough to be in Spain, even if I was on the other side of it and awake at the time she sent. Rapidly, I got my things, called my team and we all headed to the Spanish city of Londres, to a very famous hotel on the city centre, a place where everyone who has cash and wants to enjoy the several luxuries of life would stay. We arrived to the place with just five minutes of anticipation, and seated on a sofa on the hotel's main hall, there she was. Corinna stood up and waved at us, then shook hands. We were alone, nobody else was around. When she was ready and told us to start, we did so:
J: Corinna Larsen, thank you very much for accepting this interview for The Europolis Post. May I ask what or who motivated you to do it?
CL: Thank to you and your team for coming to this beautiful city today. I had no reasons to accept it, I just felt like doing it the day you reached me out and here we are. You have been lucky enough, if that day I had been mad at my son, another tale would have been told about me.
J: Ms. Larsen, there are rumours all around the European Union about your possible candidacy for Premier Commissioner in order to succeed Sofie Čikarová, and these keep growing as the date gets closer and closer. I have two questions to ask about this: Will you run for the position? And in case you did, would you do it alongside an Eurogroup or rather as an independent candidate?
CL: Sofie Čikarová is unreplaceable, she is a reference for many European women that, like me, enjoy being free and defending workers' rights, doing things for the poorer people of Europe. She, in conclusion, loves her job, and delivers, I would love to be like her. About my possible candidacy, I might or might not run, as every European citizen, basically. King Juan Carlos told me once, after a night of fire in Gadalland and Aspern, that I was 'the treasure every man in the World would like to have and that I delivered like nobody else did', not even his wife. So if the Europeans started asking me to become their most appreciatted treasure and want me to deliver, I will not say no. It also depends on my son, by the way, who loves me to be a strong, independent woman.
J: Have you lately been in touch with European affairs? What do you think about the European Constitutional Committee? Will we have, as Mr. Biden wishes, an Omnibus Amendment to the European Constitution?
CL: Constitutional Amendment? Sleepy Joe is snoring at his office, so to all European reading this interview or hearing it on a podcast or whatsoever, do not believe a word that lazy man tells you. There will be no Constitutional amendment, ask the experts if you want to have more answers on the matter. Nobody in Europe takes him seriously, his snores can be heard from outside the building he works at. That is why he only spoke twice on the IAC debate, cause he needed a nap, too much effort!!
J: Then, Ms. Larsen, you have been in touch with European affairs and you think the current ECC is a waste of time?
CL: Period.
J: Tell me 3 things you defend, Corinna. They can be from any area, no need to be political proposals, just three things you believe they deserve a huge defence coming from you.
CL: First of all, everyone has the right to infidelity and divorce, even the Holy Pope. If he wants to be infidel to God and have some action with the girl he loved when he was young, he should do that. And if God does not like that, well, they should have the right to end their relationship. Why does the Catholic religion prohibit myself from enjoying until I get married, and to be loyal to my husband when we engage. Speaking of religion, when are they going to allow gay and lesbian couples to marry? When they are all dead? I do believe in marriage equality, if you love a man and that man loves you, go ahead and marry! You know, I hate that people who refuse the LGTBIQ+ community and believe they should stay in their closet. These people (LGTBIQ+ community members) should instead have 4 parades per year, one every three months. And the third one, I believe the European Union deserves a huge defence too, and we all know the reasons why it does.
J: I cannot move on to the following question without asking if you have ever been to Pride festivals or parades.
CL: I attend them every year to meet with one of my closest friends, who also used to be my boyfriend. I met him on March that year and he was, and still is, very handsome and strong, the man any woman would wish to have next to him, good muscles! We attended Pride because we loved supporting the LGTBIQ+ communitty, and they gave us bouchers full of discounts and free things too, so 2 in 1. That year, in the parade, he confessed to me he was going out with me to please his father, who was terminally ill, and that he was gay. I hugged and told him I supported whatever choice he made during his life, and the day after he came out to his family. All of them did support him too, and now he lives happily next to a Red Croatian man he met while partying in Magaluf.
J: Ms. Larsen, Europe is full of conflicts and tensions. May I ask what is your opinion on the matter?
CL: The hippies once said "Peace and love, man"; and turned that sentence into their motto. I do agree with it, peace and love, European mandataries! They always fight over everything, who was the first to strike or whose a piece of planet belongs to; criticise everything their enemies do and if they cannot solve it like true adults, they turn into kids and travel to Europolis so the European Court of Justice can solve the dispute for them. That is why I do believe politicians are useless and I do not want to become a politician. In fact, we should fight over who wears the best outfit on a cinema awards, or who cooks the best food, useful things! If you do not fight over that, you either have lost your mind or need a spa session with your enemy to chill out.
J: Well Corinna, our time is up, but before we end this interview I would like to ask, once again, about your possible candidacy. When will we get to know the truth?
CL: Sooner or later, my decision will be published, but I would like to remind you once again that I am maybe not running, and that right now, I am not a candidate or someone interested on politics. The time will say.
J: Thank you very much, Ms. Larsen, such a pleausre.
CL: The pleasure is mine, thank you.