The Europolis Post
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European Commission Elections: 5 Questions for Eilidh Whiteford
The Europolis Post sat down with Eilidh Whiteford, the Korojaunu of (Free) Icholasen, the most-elected Premier Commissioner in European Union history, and popularly-anointed "Super Queen", to discuss the state of the current European Commission race. We asked her 5 questions, and these are her answers.
Korojaunu Whiteford, thank you for making time for us today!
No, thank you! It's my pleasure.
Let's go straight to our first question. What do you make of the results so far, and what, if anything, has surprised you?
I think the support for Biden has been surprising - he didn’t campaign much at all, really. He was not present in people’s lives or on their screens. His debate performance was relatively non-existent.
Perhaps people want that, they want a quiet Commissioner who isn’t malarkey-ing around - so to speak.
I think Biden has also consolidated some of the more Eurosceptic voters, accelerationists who want to destroy the EU by having someone with hopelessly unachievable goals that will never become law, and someone so inexperienced, without the necessary gravitas or charisma to do anything of worth.
Commission elections have often been slam-dunk victories for the EPA in the past. Now, the EPA seems to be struggling in these elections. What's going wrong for them?
I honestly have no idea. Juncker and Granger are on paper incredibly qualified. I would hazard a guess that people want change. But I think they will both scrape through in the end.
I also think the PEL have moderated their unacceptable radicalism, so, really they are not even much different than the EPA, just a little bit more Eurosceptic. They have sort of organised the dissident Eurosceptics who want change, but I am almost certain if they are elected, which is unlikely, their policy agenda will not prove the upset that people think.
You've been elected Premier three times, although you only served twice. What does it take to win a Premiership election?
I think an engaging campaign is important - Juncker did so well at that for his IAC elections, but I think maybe he needed to come up with something new this time? Again, I still think he will win, just with a closer margin.
Even if it is close though, it does not make it less of a win for any of the EPA candidates. Many of my elections were relatively close, and my candidatures were fruitful.
Icholasen has come up a lot in these election conversations and debates. As Korojaunu of (Free) Icholasen, what sort of initiatives would you like to see from the incoming Premier or Internal Affairs Commissioner?
I would like the policy of Cocx to continue, frankly. The EU cannot and should not legitimise rogue states - it really isn’t how the world should work. We need to be steadfast in our resolve to defend freedom.
If Piane Daggot is elected, your government has said you'd grant her Nicoleizian citizenship so she can serve in her role. Yet, you've also said you won't work with her. How would your navigate her Commission term? Would you ever work with her colleague, Sofie Čikarová?
Oh, Piane already has full citizenship. We will not deny citizenship to anyone fleeing the UNSR, like she did. We have, however, decided to allow her request to be nominated by us. Since she stands no chance. It is always fun to have joke candidates running - adds a little spice to the elections, don’t you think?
But yeah, she will not win. I really don’t think she has it in her, the poor dear. She is losing in first preferences to Biden right now who had no campaign - when the EPA first preferences come in she will be buried.
We would not do any work at all with Čikarová - we will not discuss with anyone who denies us our right to nationhood. Simple as.
The PEL will lose on Friday, most likely fairly badly, and they will have no one to blame but themselves.
Wow, you have not minced your words or held back at all. You really are still that bitch, and we won't forget. Thank you for your insight! Keep winning, queen.
Baby girl, I know. You're welcome.
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Stephanie DeVey: Hello and welcome back ! We have had a few more results in, and Granger is back in the race ! Both PEL candidates are on 9 to their opponents' respective 5 - a lead of 4. Biden no longer has the votes to progress to the second round, and we are unsure if he will get the votes to surpass Granger.
We now speak to the person in the lead for the Premier race - PEL high-up, Sofie Čikarová. Welcome Ms. Čikarová.
Sofie Čikarová: Thanks for having me on the show, Stephanie.
SDV: How confident are you that you will be Premier Commissioner come next Friday ?
SČ: I am fairly confident, I know that me and my supporters did all that is in our power and the results so far are very positive. I of course don't understimate Jean-Claude Juncker, but I certainly wouldn't want to be in his skin right now. Not because he is behind right now, but because he must have come to the sudden realization. EPA in its arrogance had always ignored the people amd their struggles, they always thought it will be possible to just stroke deals with few elites while ignoring the people, and to their horror suddenly the people in many pleces in the Union said enough is enough. They discovered their power, which rightfully terrifies EPA. So we could see Juncker resort to fearmongering, why else would he resort to that if he was not afraid of us? First his accusing of me and the respected Dr. Koline of being "twins" to claiming that without him the Union will "dissaper". "La Union c'est moi!" cries Juncker and it is up to us to respond to tell him that that is not the case. We are the Union. And we won't be silenced or intimidated.
Still, without understimating, it is clear that if Juncker will manage to win, it will happen only because of millions people were silenced, like in the case of Icholasen.SDV: What do you make of the results for Internal Affairs Commissioner ? Do you think you will be able to work effectively as a team with whoever wins, or just Ms. Daggot ?
SČ: I think Piane Daggot is doing wonderful and we have a chance at having an entire Commission that stands up for the people and the sovereign member states. There is no doubt that such Commission would be greatly effective. Ms. Daggot is a fantastic politician and I am very proud that I had the privilige of running alongside her. I think that we during our candidacy showed exellent teamwork and co-operation and I once again urge any who consider to vote for me to vote also for Ms. Daggot. But in a hypothetical scenario I am sure I will be able to co-operate with any possible Internal Affairs Commissioner.
SDV: Your party has never been in office before - are you ready for governance ?
SČ: Absolutely. On the other hand EPA's candidates already were in office and they have proven themselves to never be ready. But I am ready to work closely with the Council and the member states and do my best for the trust that would be put into me.
SDV: There are many governments hostile to you and your agenda - what would you say to them ?
SČ: Let's sit down and talk. I am ready to listen to you and I have my firm beliefs that won't change, you will always know what to expect from me. I am not changing my positions frequently just to attract more popularity. But I am always willing to listen to you and find solution with you together. Nobody will be overlooked.
SDV: And so, to get a better idea of what your Premiership might be like, what will be your first act as Premier ?
SČ: Meet with the Councilors to discuss putting the plan of subsidization of productive forces and essential services into action. It is our duty to pass such a motion to quickly help nations like Alkharya, while also making sure that this plan will work and will nit be punishing towards any country.
But solving the crisis with Icholasen is just as important, I can't tell you when we would solve this crisis but I guarantee to you, that we shall yet see people in Icholasen and close countries like Fremet and Ruthund stand together without any fear of a conflict, enjoying their lives like brothers and sisters.
SDV: And now for a more light-hearted question. You have a cult following around Europe - what is it like being so stanned ? What do you make of the monicker 'Sofierce ?'
SČ: It is a wonderful feeling and it fills me with much joy everytime. The people I meet are always amazing, friendly and welcoming. But this isn't just about me. Our programs resonates with the people, empowers them. Without it there would be no "Sofierce", which is a cute nickname and I am flattered, and it is up to me and you, the listeners to keep this program alive, to not yield. In that we must all, every one of us, remain fierce. Huge thanks to all those who still are with us and who perhaps finally will get to see another, free and inclusive Europe.
SDV: Thank you for coming on the show !
SČ: Thank you very much Stephanie, may you and your audience have a great day. Maybe we will have to have a great four months.
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Tusk and Juncker's Press Conference after the Spaniard defeat on the Premier Elections
Tusk: "There is a lot of damage done to the EPA, and we have 4 months to revert that. But we have had better results than the last time."The myth is over; Juncker was not undefeatable. The Spanish former Internal Affairs Commissioner has been defeated by the Czech candidate from the Party of the European Left, Sophie Čikarová, who has won typical pro-Juncker places like Inquista or Alkharya, with the last onepossibly being won by Juncker if the legislature hadn't voted. It's still unclear what Fremet, the Duxburian Union and Gadalland & Aspern, along with a possible vote from Kaitsja, will do, but we can project (and the European Progressive Alliance does too) that the Party of the European Left will win Permiership, and surely will do the same with the Internal Affairs Commission.
Donald Tusk, the new European Progressive Alliance chairman; and Jean-Claude Juncker, the EPA's Premier Commissioner candidate, have appeared on a Press Conference which wasn't the happiest one that could have been seen in the EPA's history, but it was at least optimistic. Jean-Claude Juncker spoke first, being very critic with himself: "I wasn't fully ready to fight for such an important position, and that can be seen even today. I wasn't 100% ready, but we have still done a huge effort and a nice campaign, even the results aren't the best ones or those we expected. Still, I have made lots of mistakes and not recognising them would be hypocritical. But, at the same time, I believe new things should be done, change should happen and so I will run again in 4 months or less if a by-election takes place. I congratulate Ms. Čikarová for her victory and wish her the best of luck for the upcoming 4 months."
The new chairman and Deputy Speaker of the European Council, Donald Tusk, spoke next: "It is obviously not the expected result, but Jean-Claude has done an amazing and valuable job despite all that took place during the campaign. There's a lot of damage done to the European Progressive Alliance; you don't need to go very far from here, we have lost on many states that previously sided with us. And that is because we haven't known how to manage the party in the opposition. I have recently taken over the group, the atmosphere is sad because we want to win and we have 4 months to revert that. But we cannot forget that the man who ran last time got worse results than those Juncker got at the moment, so it is clear we are seeing some light from the end of the tunnel. We will come back stronger, and now let's see what happens in the IAC race and if we get some happy news."
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The European Progressive Alliance changes its logotype and adds an Eurogroup anthem
The new European Progressive Alliance logotypesThe European Progressive Alliance has started its renewing process after the defeat on the Premier Commissioner race by the Party of the European Left. The first steps of Donald Tusk in this post-Juncker defeat era have been done have been given; and the EPA has decided to change its logotype and add a new anthem. The logotypes, made by an art study on Ibiza, are different to each other: 2 of them have the famous "EPA horse" without any boundary, one of them has the horse inside a circle and the last one misses the horse and puts a heart and some stars (mostly inspired from the European flag) on it.
Apart from these logos, the European Progressive Alliance chairman, Donald Tusk, had ordered the composition of an "EPA Eurogroup anthem" to the Nicoleizian composer Eric Tijnaus. This is a pioneering idea when it comes to Eurogroups, unless you count the Socialist International song as the Party of the European Left anthem. This composition is being used on the EPA main acts, as well as in some adverts from the Eurogroup in the future Commission elections.
In words of Donald Tusk, he says the European Progressive Alliance "needed some sort of update, and this is the first step towards a new EPA"; but it is not what he wants to fix at all. "Renewing the EPA is not about the horse or how we are called, but about the policy we do in the Council, how we focus towards the challenges of the EU and how we adapt to the changes that take place every day. The logos are just a way to modernize the party a little bit." But we will see if the logos work for them.
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2022 Midterms Will Be MK's Nightmare With High Socialist/Left Support Recently After 1st 100 Days In Office
After the upsetting defeat for the European Progressive Alliance that was witnessed in the recent EU Commission Election, this might be the first sign that the 2022 midterm elections for the National Congress will most likely be a nightmare for Mouri-Kudo as she will not the hold that her party has on both Houses of the National Congress mostly. In addition, it might be even worse in the provincial legislature elections that will be happening as well as the popularity of the Progressive Alliance Party in Leagio might actually be shifting to the more left-wing parties like the Socialist Union Party. In fact, the Progressives might possibly be shell-shacked when December 20th, 2022 comes rolling-in because even though the economy has not crashed, certain things are not going in favor of the President during her start of the Administration as several polls are showing that after the first 100 days, Former President Lifejumper was more likeable overall. In his first 100 days, Lifejumper had a 56% likeability as a leader but Mouri-Kudo has 51%. Although, Mouri-Kudo does extremely well in Education, Environment, and Immigration through the management that was done by her administrative cabinet. However, her presidency so fars has only one piece of major legislation which is the Green Transition Act that was witnessed by former Primier Commissioner Candidate Junkcer who won the Leagioan vote in race by not a very healthy margin at all when compared to his victory last year.
When examining the 100 days of the Mouri-Kudo administration, the President suffers in the Jobs sector and economy. The reason is because during her administration, the Leagioan Euro GDP per Capita and National Income declined to an extent due to the policies of the Lifejumper Administration in the economic recovery that came after last year’s crash in February where the administration left the growth to be uncontrollable and resulted in a dent in the economy that started after May of this year. The slight dent to the economy had then slowed down the growth job sectors of the country which resulted in increase of unemployment within the nation with many people, of particularly especially the right-win spectrum, claiming that the Mouri-Kudo administration was committing corruption that resulted in a decrease in the economy. In response to the support that the PEL had in the recent election with the passage of the amendment to the constitution allowing electoral alliances, the Socialist Union Party and the Green Party announced yester that they are currently in very favorable talks of re-establishing the Revolutionary Front Colitation at the moment. It is currently assumed that in a feared response to such an announcement, the Civil Populists and Social Democrats then added a amendment to the initial agreement that Mouri-Kudo had with them on the House of Councilors election reform bill that is still in debate within the House of Councilors, which her party holds with only 223 seats out of 541 meaning that she does not hold a majority like she does in the Senate. The amendment that is being debated is combing the list seats into regions that make up no less than two provinces each. Mouri-Kudo said that she will undoubtly In-Line Veto that piece of the bill if it goes to her office.
The only good thing that will soon be coming to Mouri-Kudo’s desk from both houses will be the Labor Union Civil Rights Bill that will give more civil rights protections to Labor Union and ensuring that unionization elections are monitored by the Common Government. The Bill would also issue harsh punishments on companies that make aggressive threats to its employee on the vote of unionization. This piece of legislation is expected to swing a port of the Center-Left back to the Civil Populists and Progressives, but by how much is unknown at the moment. There are also rumors that Mouri-Kudo is in-talks with the leader of Free Democratic party and the new EU-Councilor for Leagio: Lionel Morel in possibly forming an electoral alliance for 2022 to ensure her security in the National Congress which if held today would undoubtedly be a nightmare for her. In addition, there are on-going political rumors that the pro-unitarist party called the Democratic Leagioan Union is also in those same talks with the President. However, some experts on Leagioan elections of the past say that 2022 will be a nightmare for Mouri-Kudo no matter what she tries to do at this point as recent polling is showing that voter intentions for Left-Wing parties jumped above the Civil Populists when compared to 2020 election that was landslide for the Progressives. In addition, experts explain that 2022 will be a nightmare for Mouri-Kudo as National Congress elections in-between the term of the President has always been moment when the executive loses the legislative branch of the government.
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Shiba Inu Owner Speaks Out: "I Don't Remember and I Don't Care"
In what will amount to a surprise to absolutely no one, Councillors Trympov and Lallana have gone to battle with each other in their first European Council session as colleagues. It only took a matter of days after Cllr. Lallana's election to the European Council for Cllr. Trympov to launch a motion to exclude her from her newfound office, under a bill named the Plastic Surgery Woman (Expulsion from Council) Bill. At the centre of this heated debate between the two dueling councillors lies one massive discrepancy: did Cllr. Lallana secure the deal to walk a Shiba Inu, or was it Piyers Morganov?
The discrepancy dates all the way back to the second season of Cllr. Trympov's The Celebrity Apprentice, which Cllr. Lallana had competed in more than a decade ago. The fifth episode of the season, which ultimately saw Cllr. Lallana fired in the boardroom, focused around the two celebrity teams promoting and undertaking a dog-walking service. Cllr. Lallana claims to have secured the sales of 15 dog-walks, including that of a Shiba Inu, which made her the second best salesperson of her team.
Cllr. Lallana has asserted that she was undeserving of her firing, and has described her termination from her show as a sign of Cllr. Trympov's "lack of judgment." Cllr. Trypov has defended his decision, and has in turn asserted that Cllr. Lallana had overcounted her sales by falsely claiming the sale of the Shiba Inu dog-walk, which he maintains was actually made by Piyers Morganov.
The Europolis Post has managed to track down the owner of this Shiba Inu, who was willing to speak on the incident.
"I don't really remember who approached me first... they both kind of did," the owner told us, "and as for who landed the sale? I don't remember and I don't care. I only remember that they did a terrible job, and it was super expensive. I only agreed because I saw Dennislav Rodmavic was on their team - I should have bought an ice cream instead."
The Europolis Post is happy to confirm that the Shiba Inu in question, Milos, is still alive and is apparently living a happy and healthy life after all these years.
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When will the greatest mystery in European politics be solved?
The mystery of the 30 planes transferred into the ownership of Iberia, leaving no paper trail or documentation whatsoever, nor even evidence of their previous existence as owned by the European Council, has and is a case worthy of Sherlock Holmes. No one in Europe, except perhaps the shareholders of Iberia, Donald Tusk, and Jean-Claude Juncker, who all have hinted at greater knowledge of what happened, seems to know anything about how this occurred - and even those three do not know, or perhaps refuse to tell, the whole story.
But this is no triviality. The 30 planes, in total, had an estimated value of over five billion euros when initially donated - a little under a sixth of the total expenses of the European Union. And yet, it seems, those five billion euros of liquid assets have vanished into thin air. They have, some way or other, found their way into the ownership of Iberia, with no record of the existence of any money or compensation in return. They might say, "oh, it went to the member-states," but not a single member-state, I am sure, ever received any money from the sale. Were the planes merely given away? Or was the money pocketed by those involved in the transfer, whoever they were?
A sixth of the European budget is no joke. A sixth of the European budget could help bankroll the development of many impoverished member-states, with the surplus and rebate remaining entirely unchanged; it could alternatively be given to the EHO, which could use it to help end the transmission of the most dangerous diseases - particularly polio and tuberculosis - where they make their worst impacts; to the Arts Collaboration Fund, to help many more aspiring European artists, to so many organizations for so many different and equally noble purposes. And yet a whole sixth of the European budget has vanished.
We ask where this sixth went. No one has bothered to tell us; no one, in fact, seems to even have bothered to tell the previous owners of the planes, the European Council, about how they were disposed of, except perhaps Councillor Tusk, who seems, again, to know much more than anyone else, with, again, the exceptions of the shareholders of Iberia and Jean-Claude Juncker, about this subject.
We are not merely random people screaming about nonsense; we are European citizens who are demanding to know what has been done with money that should have spent on the people of Europe as a whole. It is our right, surely, in our democratic and just world?
But we also want to seek justice. The taint of illegality seems to hover over the whole process; it is almost blindingly obvious that the resulting funds, if there were any, were misappropriated. We want to know who was responsible for the handover, and want to see these people punished for their wrongdoings - for handing over assets of the EU to a private company without the approval of the EU, and for handling whatever proceeds there were in such an opaque and likely corrupt way.
We demand, in essence, a total solution to this mystery which leaves no doubt and no continued loose ends.
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Kitti Thongthang Sets Paws on Historic Commission Campaign
Among a crowded field of candidates for the Commissioner of the European Union, femboys and catboys everywhere are putting their paws up for the recently announced candidacy of Kitti Thongthang. Thongthang is a Ruthenish media entrepreneur and arts philanthropist who is widely credited as the pioneer of Ruthenish anime. Thongthang popularised the animation style in Ruthund through his own anime studio, and through his own philanthropic initiatives, such as his Anime Artists of Ruthund fellowship, which has trained over 100 new anime artists to date.
However, Thongthang has now made a larger splash in civil rights circles, after campaigning for femboys and catboys to be protected classes against discrimination in Ruthund during the 2018 mayoral election in Kazmurbirhaz. In 2020, Thongthang bravely announced that he was a transracial Asian, and has since faced continued discrimination against his professed identity. Thongthang is the first ever openly transracial candidate to run for the European Commission.
Dr. Octavia Sozellus, the director of Central Mediterranean University's Department of Sociology, named Kitti Thongthang as "the most visible and vocal leader of the burgeoning First Wave of the Femboyist Movement". Dr. Sozellus further noted that "femboys and catboys remain an oppressed class across the European Union, and the European Union has done little to recognise or enshrine their rights into European law. Femboys and catboy are particularly oppressed in Inquista, where they still face significant societal ostracization and social stigmatization, as well as systemic and institutional barriers and prejudices."
Inquista is still mostly socially homogenous, with an estimated 69.69% of the population identifying as either himbos or bimbos, which jointly form the primary social identity of the country. Consequently, many femboys and catboys report feelings of being socially and politically invisible, with their lack of political capital resulting in a lack of government resources and legal protections. There is widespread consensus among Inquistan political scientists that Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg managed to stage her political rise on her ability to unite and galvanize support between himbos and bimbos, and she has since put them at the forefront of her political agenda, as seen through her her universal hair and bodycare legislation. Powerful himbo and bimbo lobby groups, such as the Alliance of Bretts, Chads and Dylans (ABCD), have made themselves bedfellows with the Archbishop, and have also used their power to halt progress for other social groups. As a result, femboys and catboys are further on the political margins than ever before.
It is therefore no surprise that these disillusioned, underrepresented and disenfranchised social sectors of Inquista - and beyond, across Europe - will be excited about Thongthang's European Commission candidacy, who offers their first chance for political representation. The European Union's Universal Decleration of Human Rights offers ample ground for Thongthang to push through his protections and recognition of femboy and catboy rights.
Thongthang also stands for a quickly growing group: transracial Asians. Asianization procedures in Reitzmag have not only become common for local residents, but also for many Europeans abroad. Many transracial Asians have gone to Reitzmag to have their Asianization procedures done at regular plastic surgery clinics**, only to return home where their newly-affirmed identity faces denial, leading to further obstacles of discrimination.
Despite the widespread popularity of Asianization procedures, and the growing numbers of transracial people, the European Union has not updated any legal protections or recognitions within Euopean law. The European Health Organization is also yet to address the topic.
Park Jimin, one of the seven members of BTS, and private pilot of Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg, recently went through his own Asianization process, and has been vocal about the European Union's lack of recognition and addressment of his community's status. Park Jimin has endorsed Kitti Thongthang's campaign for Internal Affairs.
**Editor's note: The Europolis Post apologises for using the term 'Asianization clinics', which is an offensive and derogatory term for regular plastic surgery clinics. We have adjusted our language accordingly, and will refrain from repeating this mistake in the future. This is not it, this is not the tweet. We will do better.
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Predictions for the Next Commission Election
The Europolis Post predicts that the EPA will win the seat of Premier Commissioner, but that the seat of Internal Affairs Commissioner will be a tossup between Joe Biden and Paul-Gabrielle Muzhare. The PEL will be left effectively devastating, embarrassing especially in the wake of their recent historical election.
PREMIER COMMISSIONER
Safe - PEL
The PEL is expected to hold Fremet, Inquista, Istkalen, Czech Slavia, and Vayinaod in terms of first preferences, and win as second preference in the UD, Pravoslaviya, Reitzmag, Ruthund, and the Duxburian Union; it will thus be eliminated in the first round. Inquista, Fremet, and Vayinaod will deliver second preferences for the PEL; Istkalen and Czech Slavia for the ELSS.
Safe - ELSS
The ELSS is expected to gain the UD, Pravoslaviya, Reitzmag, Ruthund, Leagio, and the Duxburian Union, as well as win second preference in Mennrimiak, Czech Slavia, Ruthund, and Istkalen. The ELSS has been particularly strong on sovereignty, an important point for the four countries it is expected to win, as well as those it is expected to win second preference in; however, its candidates are disadvantaged by their violent and incoherent rhetoric. Due to transfer from the PEL, it is expected to lose.
Safe - EPA
The EPA is expected to win in Spain, Montenbourg, Nofoaga, Brickston, Yosai, Icholasen, and Gadalland and Aspern, nations in which it is expected to establish a stable constituency in, but not expand from, for reasons that we do not fully understand, but likely due to the neoliberal position of the EPA. It is likely to win second preferences in Fremet, Vayinaod, and Inquista for similar reasons.
Safe - Independents
Independent candidates are expected to win in Mennrimiak, for the sole reason that they hail from that nation.
Internal Affairs Commissioner
Safe - PEL
The PEL is predicted to win first preferences in Czech Slavia and Istkalen. Kalessed is far weaker a candidate, as she is not as charasmatic and is also surrounded by significantly more experienced or well-backed opponents; the PEL is thus likely to be eliminated in the first round.
Safe - ELSS affiliated
The ELSS is predicted to win first preferences in the Duxburian Union, Reitzmag, Pravoslaviya and the UD, due to its positions on sovereignty, and will receive second preferences from the PEL.
Safe - EPA affiliated
The EPA is predicted to win Spain, Nofoaga, Gadalland and Aspern, Yosai, and Montenbourg, due to their centrist position and support for neoliberalism, as well as rabid anti-communism.
Safe - Independent
Independent candidates are expected to win in Brickston, Mennrimiak, and Gania, for the sole reason that they hail from those nations. Second preferences will go to the EPA, with the exception of that from Mennrimiak, which will go to the ELSS.
Toss-up: leaning PEL
The sole toss-up leaning towards the PEL is Fremet, which has been gradually moving to the left, and has felt distanced by the EPA and the ELSS.
Toss-up: leaning EPA
Toss-ups leaning towards the EPA include Inquista and Vayinaod, which might feel that all other candidates are too distant. Vayinaod, however, may also go for an independent candidate.
Toss-up: unknown
The only toss-up where all candidates have an equal chance of being elected is Ruthund.
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The Solaris Project is a Huge Test of European Capabilities and the EU is Failing it
Op-Ed piece by Ryan Nymark am San
Formal European institutions vs voluntary member-state initiatives became a rhetorical point of contention during the latest round of Commission elections. While candidates debated hypotheticals on a stage, the Duxburian city of Azrekko has actually been out testing these different approaches for real. The results are quite eye-opening: the Green European Fund can handle a 2.94 billion euro request without batting an eye...and the European Development Agency can't.
The Solaris Azrekko isn't just a big solar farm - it's a total meta transformation, a once in a lifetime event. The scale...is massive. The stakes....are massive. The impact...is massive. Folks, I was born in Azrekko, I've lived here my entire life, I've never seen anything like this before. We're going to power this entire city of 11 million off the sun?...incredible!
You can imagine my disappointment when I saw that the EDA could only handle around 15% of the project funding request. The city does not have nearly enough for the rest, the project could have died right there and then. Not only is the agency woefully unprepared for major proposals, but the EU budget runs a giant surplus year after year. How is the EU so awash in cash, yet doesn't have enough for one, serious project?
Quite a large percentage of the Duxburian population opposes taking EU money for anything and is suspicious of anything to do with EU development. This project was the perfect chance to show them what the Union is really capable of and how it can be a force for progress toward a sustainable future. Instead, the EU blew it - now every sandmaster knows the agency is largely ineffective and that it takes a voluntary association to get real things done.
One of our Maelir candidate's campaign slogans is "Dare to Dream Bigger"...the European Commission is telling us we must dream smaller. Dreaming smaller involves going back to drilling for copious quantities of oil and torching it to create power. That's not the world I want my kids to grow up in.
Thanks to the Green European Fund, and only the Green European Fund, Solaris is on the cusp of becoming real, not a dream. The federal government won't help us, the European Union can't help us. These well-funded initiatives between groups of member-states are the future of the region. It's time to give up on EU institutions and embrace this superior model of solving big problems.
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Warning for the Europolis Area - Violent Criminal at Large
If you see the woman above in public, immediately contact the Europolis policeAnnelise Bauer, former European Councillor for Eastern Haane and, later, the Union of Syndicates, has escaped from her prison in Europolis. Ms. Bauer is a known violent criminal, and was responsible for two attacks on the Council, on both occasions attempting to stab a number of Councillors, succeeding once. She was also responsible for an attempted chemical attack on the Council chambers, involving a concentrated white powder which directly resulted in the hospitalization of two Councillors and their eventual resignation, as well as an extended physical assault on Councillor Mizrachi-Roscoe of the United Duchies, who she repeatedly bit, stabbed, and threw the named white powder on, resulting in his hospitalization for over a month.
It is believed that Ms. Bauer is a contract killer, who is hired by various actors as to cause chaos and violence, particularly in chambers of importance such as the European Council. A Haanean by birth, Ms. Bauer became a naturalized citizen of the Union of Syndicates by decree, after Tsilias Ueliohen contracted her services.
Her location is presently unknown. Ms. Bauer is known to be physically strong, a stocky woman, about 175 cm in height, having been able to fend off multiple security guards, as well as conduct multiple extended attacks on the Council chamber. She also has a propensity to violence, particularly extreme violence, with a particular affinity for biting. Citizens of Europolis, if they sight her, are advised to refrain from engaging her, as a result of this, and instead to immediately call the police and leave the area. Ms. Bauer may also have improvised weapons on her person, particularly clay knives, which she can make with great skill, based on evidence recovered from both Council attacks, which she has demonstrated to be willing to use.
Ms. Bauer is not likely to attack citizens of Europolis without having been previously engaged; while she appears unhinged as a result of her previous appearances on the Council, Ms. Bauer is a highly calculating and intelligent individual, who will not attempt to give herself away.
It should also be noted that Ms. Bauer has previously escaped from the prison in question, and indeed managed to leave Europolis, and thus has had experience in this matter, which all citizens should take into account. In particular, she has a high degree of knowledge about the layout of the city, as well as on areas of increased surveillance, which cannot be stressed more.
Do not rely on accent, hair, or eye color to identify Ms. Bauer. She is fluent in French, English, and Dutch apart from her native German, and speaks with a minimal to completely unnoticable accent; she also is known for wearing a variety of wigs of varying colors and hairstyles. She may also rely on contacts as to disguise the color of her eyes as to evade detection. She also may be wearing heavy makeup, as she appears to have done during her first escape from Europolis.
Her location is presently unknown; the threat to all citizens of Europolis is thus equal.
In short, Ms. Bauer is an extremely dangerous and violent individual who poses a direct threat to the safety and stability of the city. She is a physically strong woman who is likely in possession of weapons, and should not be directly engaged. While unlikely to engage in random acts of violence, she will attack any who attempts to subdue her. She has an intimate knowledge of the city, as well as of Europolis law enforcement; she also has previously escaped from Europolis. She is of medium height and relatively stocky, but possesses no accent. She may be wearing a disguise.
We advise all to remain alert.
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Corinna Larsen - Is she going to run for Premier Commissioner?
Corinna Larsen, in a stock pictureRumors are spreading like wildifre, and in Spain more and more people are ecoing that Corinna Larsen, the former secret lover of the King Emeritus Juan Carlos I, might be running in the next Commission Elections for Premier Commissioner, in order to succeed Sofie Čikarová as the most powerful woman in Europe. While people on Spain are not opposed to the idea at all, it is true that she has the far-right opposed to her because of her "anti-monarchic" attitudes with Juan Carlos I, attitudes that were requested by the former King and that, in fact, were allowed to happen by the first monarch of Spain after the Francoist Dictatorship.
Although she is known all around the European Union for her love affair with Juan Carlos I, Larsen has not stopped enjoying life as she wants to: there are reports about another love affair with Juan Bernardo Fernández Velázquez, when he was married to the Inquistan Archbishop, Mikaela Kligenberg and with the Czech Minister of Culture, Karel Šín, without even caring about the presence of paparazzis on the area. Back in the EuroVoice 40 show, she was seen trying to persuade the Reitzmic Prime Minister, Simon Bridges, with no apparent success. However, she was seen leaving the show close to Simon Bridges, so the result of her persuading attempt are still unknown today.
It is still unknown if she would run alongside an Eurogroup or either independently if she ran, but one thing is certain: whether if she runs or not, she will have the European media close to her, following her steps and trying to predict what she will do next. Corinna will try to play the "distraction game", and asked about this information, she has said the European media: "should discard and not discard it at the same time". The elections are getting closer, and Corinna might be getting ready to be the first surprise of 2022.
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An Afternoon with Corinna - "Constitutional Amendment? Sleepy Joe is snoring at his office"
She is the most searched woman on Europe. Her crime? Playing with the rumours that affirm she will run for Premier Commissioner on the next European elections. Luckily for The Europolis Post, we have managed to find and offer her an interview, which she accepted. For those who don't know Corinna, she is the very same woman that made King Juan Carlos I of Spain, El Capitán Juan Bernardo Fernández-Velázquez and the Czech Minister of Culture, Karel Šín, cheat on their respective lovers.
Although it seemed to be an easy job to meet with Ms. Larsen, it was not. Corinna sent us the location of where the interview would take place just a few hours before it started, and I was lucky enough to be in Spain, even if I was on the other side of it and awake at the time she sent. Rapidly, I got my things, called my team and we all headed to the Spanish city of Londres, to a very famous hotel on the city centre, a place where everyone who has cash and wants to enjoy the several luxuries of life would stay. We arrived to the place with just five minutes of anticipation, and seated on a sofa on the hotel's main hall, there she was. Corinna stood up and waved at us, then shook hands. We were alone, nobody else was around. When she was ready and told us to start, we did so:
J: Corinna Larsen, thank you very much for accepting this interview for The Europolis Post. May I ask what or who motivated you to do it?
CL: Thank to you and your team for coming to this beautiful city today. I had no reasons to accept it, I just felt like doing it the day you reached me out and here we are. You have been lucky enough, if that day I had been mad at my son, another tale would have been told about me.
J: Ms. Larsen, there are rumours all around the European Union about your possible candidacy for Premier Commissioner in order to succeed Sofie Čikarová, and these keep growing as the date gets closer and closer. I have two questions to ask about this: Will you run for the position? And in case you did, would you do it alongside an Eurogroup or rather as an independent candidate?
CL: Sofie Čikarová is unreplaceable, she is a reference for many European women that, like me, enjoy being free and defending workers' rights, doing things for the poorer people of Europe. She, in conclusion, loves her job, and delivers, I would love to be like her. About my possible candidacy, I might or might not run, as every European citizen, basically. King Juan Carlos told me once, after a night of fire in Gadalland and Aspern, that I was 'the treasure every man in the World would like to have and that I delivered like nobody else did', not even his wife. So if the Europeans started asking me to become their most appreciatted treasure and want me to deliver, I will not say no. It also depends on my son, by the way, who loves me to be a strong, independent woman.
J: Have you lately been in touch with European affairs? What do you think about the European Constitutional Committee? Will we have, as Mr. Biden wishes, an Omnibus Amendment to the European Constitution?
CL: Constitutional Amendment? Sleepy Joe is snoring at his office, so to all European reading this interview or hearing it on a podcast or whatsoever, do not believe a word that lazy man tells you. There will be no Constitutional amendment, ask the experts if you want to have more answers on the matter. Nobody in Europe takes him seriously, his snores can be heard from outside the building he works at. That is why he only spoke twice on the IAC debate, cause he needed a nap, too much effort!!
J: Then, Ms. Larsen, you have been in touch with European affairs and you think the current ECC is a waste of time?
CL: Period.
J: Tell me 3 things you defend, Corinna. They can be from any area, no need to be political proposals, just three things you believe they deserve a huge defence coming from you.
CL: First of all, everyone has the right to infidelity and divorce, even the Holy Pope. If he wants to be infidel to God and have some action with the girl he loved when he was young, he should do that. And if God does not like that, well, they should have the right to end their relationship. Why does the Catholic religion prohibit myself from enjoying until I get married, and to be loyal to my husband when we engage. Speaking of religion, when are they going to allow gay and lesbian couples to marry? When they are all dead? I do believe in marriage equality, if you love a man and that man loves you, go ahead and marry! You know, I hate that people who refuse the LGTBIQ+ community and believe they should stay in their closet. These people (LGTBIQ+ community members) should instead have 4 parades per year, one every three months. And the third one, I believe the European Union deserves a huge defence too, and we all know the reasons why it does.
J: I cannot move on to the following question without asking if you have ever been to Pride festivals or parades.
CL: I attend them every year to meet with one of my closest friends, who also used to be my boyfriend. I met him on March that year and he was, and still is, very handsome and strong, the man any woman would wish to have next to him, good muscles! We attended Pride because we loved supporting the LGTBIQ+ communitty, and they gave us bouchers full of discounts and free things too, so 2 in 1. That year, in the parade, he confessed to me he was going out with me to please his father, who was terminally ill, and that he was gay. I hugged and told him I supported whatever choice he made during his life, and the day after he came out to his family. All of them did support him too, and now he lives happily next to a Red Croatian man he met while partying in Magaluf.
J: Ms. Larsen, Europe is full of conflicts and tensions. May I ask what is your opinion on the matter?
CL: The hippies once said "Peace and love, man"; and turned that sentence into their motto. I do agree with it, peace and love, European mandataries! They always fight over everything, who was the first to strike or whose a piece of planet belongs to; criticise everything their enemies do and if they cannot solve it like true adults, they turn into kids and travel to Europolis so the European Court of Justice can solve the dispute for them. That is why I do believe politicians are useless and I do not want to become a politician. In fact, we should fight over who wears the best outfit on a cinema awards, or who cooks the best food, useful things! If you do not fight over that, you either have lost your mind or need a spa session with your enemy to chill out.
J: Well Corinna, our time is up, but before we end this interview I would like to ask, once again, about your possible candidacy. When will we get to know the truth?
CL: Sooner or later, my decision will be published, but I would like to remind you once again that I am maybe not running, and that right now, I am not a candidate or someone interested on politics. The time will say.
J: Thank you very much, Ms. Larsen, such a pleausre.
CL: The pleasure is mine, thank you.
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An Interview Over Moriarty's Leagioan Socialism
Over the past few weeks, he has been a person of interest in Leagioan politics. Starting out as a founder of the Uplift Foundation, a charity that provides aid to poor families, and owner of the Moriarty Diamond Corporation ( a group Diamond company that has been hitting sells at a high level)to being a founding member of the Leagio's Territorial Government of Freedonia Constitution and its new public structures that focus on welfare for the people that reside in the Territory. Right now, he is a Professor of the University of Freedonia and is now Interim President of the United People's Front Alliance. An alliance of socialist and communist parties that seem to be saner than usual these days. Now, less than a year to the 2022 Mid-Term Elections for the National Congress, people are saying that Moriarty's Alliance ( as it has been nicknamed) might be on the way to control at least the House of Councilors and have more influence in the Senate. William James Moriarty has accepted an interview on what the Far-Left to Center-Left Alliance plans. The interview was conducted with Toby Helling of the Leagioan Broadcasting Corporation. Toby Helling is an experienced interviewer in Leagioan News for the last 10 years with high mark on many events.
TH: Good evening, Professor Moriarty.
WJM: Good evening, Mr. Helling.
TH: So, we have somewhat meet before when you started the Uplift Foundation. So now, I would like to you about the founding of the United People's Front alliance. So, the Left was fractured after debates on the UNSR caused SUP to collapse in leadership. How were you able to convince the Social Workers Party to your side?
WJM: Eventually after members of the Green Party and SUP, along with myself, got tired of the division within the left side of Leagioan Politics; where our policies were sidelined and various political parties began to take advantage of our division. These same parties were also using the statements of various members of our party that spoke in values that were not representative of the people. Like one Councilor in the House who was speaking that the Democratic system was against the people when it wasn't and portrays the wrong image about the ideas of what I believe that Socialism is about.
TH: And what is that Image of Socialism?
WJM: Socialism in Leagio should be about ensuring the equality of all in wealth, work, race, and everything else. Socialism in Leagio should not be able tearing down the structure, because that has never ended well. Me and many members of the Greens and SUP feel that Socialism should work in hand with Democracy. Yes, there are times that it seems like Democracy does not want to work with Socialism but thus is the frustrations of checks and balances in a government. The people voted for the constitution that they live in and so Socialist as well as Communists factions in Leagio should respect the wishes of the people.
TH: Now, just to focus on your Leagioan Socialism Platform, could you explain that in terms of policies say in 2022 if your alliances get control of both houses of Congress democratically.
WJM: What my Leagioan Socialism platform is something that was agreed upon with various members of all three parties involved in the United People's Front alliance. The platform does moderate redistribution of wealth particularly those that have a lot of money (and mean more than even me at the moment) say like former EU Councilor Francis Plessis, who has over $900 Million Sulias at the moment from his family Diamond business. The system would allow people that earned their money to keep at a certain rate on a certain yearly income. If you make 1 million Sulia's for example, then the government would take around 150,000 Sulia's out and give to other families through Welfare and Social Security. Another policy is requiring that all non-military businesses over 25 workers to be unionized at the bare-minium. Unions of certain sizes will have certain abilities to negotiate, while smaller ones might have less bargain power but the government will act as a mediator. In addition, the government would work on the construction of various settlement projects for the urbanization of certain of the Commonwealth that will not cause serious and irreparable damage to the world environment. These projects would provide government jobs that pay well, full-time, with benefits, discounted education, and free housing to its workers. Furthermore, these jobs would even be long-term for its workers along with their families.
TH: What about foreign affairs? How would Leagioan Socialism affect nations such as the UNSR? As that was the reason for the SUP break-up and the forming of the Socialist Workers Party? And would you be running for President in 2024?
WJM: In terms of foreign affairs, the alliance strives for equality on a footing with all nations that are reasonable, fair, kind to Leagio, and does not thrive on chaos. The UNSR as you ask, well, the alliance understands why they took over in the way that they did but we feel that at the moment their version of Socialism does not match ours for obvious reasons. and so a Leagio slash UNSR diplomatic exchange would not be welcoming at the moment. Focusing on your 2024 question, the answer that I can in honesty give is that I have not fully decided on running as of yet. You might hear something about that once the 2024 Executive Primaries come about in March of 2024.
TH: I see. Now, obvious your policies might be something that the President Mouri-Kudo would not support and in order to get your Leagioan Socialism implemented after 2022 (if you somehow get both the House and Senate), how would you then convince the President to go on-board with the Alliance plans and not Veto them outright?
WJM: In response, I think that we would then need to ask the President elected by the people this question then. 'Does she, as President elected by, for, and of the people, really represent the people of the Commonwealth if she veto's a Congress elected by the people?'
TH: Thank you, Professor Moriarty.
WJM: No, thank you, Mr. Helling.
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OPINION: THE DANGERS OF ANOTHER EPA COMMISSION UNDER JUNCKER
by Anon
We're yet again to decide who will lead the EU and its policy, and are again in danger of having another commission that would collapse the EU under Juncker. Let's have a closer look at what really are the implications of another EPA Commission under Mr. Juncker.
Lower Budget and Reduced Membership
Various nations have already threatened, most notably Reitzmag, to leave the union in case the Spanish Eurofederalist icon returns to the Commission. With Strathae already out of the EU reducing the budget by millions or possibly billions, the leaving of a much larger contributor or contributors to the budget would devastate the EU's spending. In addition, this would be a massive blow to the union's legitimacy.Biased Interventionism
The EU will once again return to its old practice of having member-states held like puppets forcing itself into their internal affairs, just as Mr. Juncker did when he was Internal Affairs Commissioner. During my research, I found a secret video recording of the first round of meetings for the Caspian Treaty between Pravoslaviya, UD, ND, and Reitzmag mediated by Mr. Juncker hidden deep within the internet. This recording showed Juncker forcing that Reitzmag was in the wrong and is guilty as if it was defeated in a war. Eventually as we all know, this first round didn't go successfully and this is likely due to the attitude and treatment Mr. Juncker did. While during that time, his home nation of Spain had its piracy activities in the Straits go unnoticed by the commission and only ended with Mr. Juncker already out of power. I have saved a video of this recording and it may now be viewed online through various video sharing and streaming platforms.Eurofederalist policies and more restrictions forced on member-states
Once again, we will see policies that add more restrictions against the will of the EU's members. It is very likely that we will also not see Angleter join back the Council's proceedings anymore with laws much worse than the EACA being passed. There would also be unnecessary funding for unnecessary projects like eurorail that shouldn't be handled at EU-level affairs and instead by the individual member-states themselves.Overall, it will be apocalypse for the EU. We don't need another Juncker, we need another Biden that delivers with respect for member-states.
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Tusk: "The European Progressive Alliance is back"
Tusk, celebrating the results at the EPA headquarters in Europolis"The European Progressive Alliance is back". That is the sentence that the EPA Chairman and Councillor for the Kingdom of Spain, Donald Tusk, has used to begin his press conference after the European Commission election results were proclaimed and that give the EPA their first full Commission since Merkel I, with Juncker (Premier Commissioner) and Reynels (Foreign Affairs) repeating from that Commission team. Alongside them, the Leagioan Kevin Cotilla will debut as Internal Affairs Commissioner.
Tusk has also reviewed the path towards this massive victory: "we have found difficulties throughout the way to this massive victory, and I am glad to have colleagues like Jean-Claude, Antoni and Kevin that have brought thrill, hope and excitement back to this HQ. But we could not have done this with the Europeans vote, and I want to thank them for all their support, to those that voted for us for the first time in a while and the ones that have always trustsed us and our candidates in every Commission election so far". As a matter of fact, it is also the first Commission since Carmona-Santos' that is fully composed of men.
Asked if the few changes he introduced on the party made them win this election, Tusk has denied this: "absolutely not", he said, before adding: "I am just a chairman, I was not running to become a Commissioner, so the introduced changes are no changing factor, our candidates are, and I am honoured to see that the proposals and changes they have made have worked and given us such a wonderful result. The Europeans will surely feel relieved now that they see we have a full EPA Commissionship, for sure", he concluded with.
The Kingdom of Spain
His Majesty the King, Felipe VI
President Alberto Núñez-Feijóo
Councillor and Council Speaker Donald Tusk -
Lutz Hertzfeld Frustated by slow bureaucracy holding up space co-operation plans
Lutz Hertzfeld gave a speech today to the press criticising the speed and inactivity among the EU commission. Lutz Hertzfeld who the EU commissioners have regularly criticised for allegedly underperforming in the role hit out at the EU commissioners. He said "I am hugely frustrated , we have an oppurtunity well within the budget to commission big projects to help co-ordinate space agencies by managing projects on communications , weather and sattelite navigation satellite systems for example that could enrich the lives of Europeans. I have as a agency head wrote many times to commissioners of all stripes about plans like these and plans to commission joint European Space projects to get the budget required. The power of an ESA backed by 10's of billions of Euros doing such projects could turbocharge science and the advancement of the continent and we have visionaries in the agency and people with big dreams among the staff but we cannot do it because the system is so damn slow to get funding and approval and they don't respond to our communications.
They say they want to unleash the power of the Union on one hand but they are so slow they are holding it up and I want to be clear this has been a trend under many commissioners including Floatilla , Juncker and Biden. To the comissioners I say today I love the idea of the Union and unleashing its power , I love the idea of the spirit of union but for goodness sake let us unleash it , give us the budget and the freedom to pursue projects of co-operation with us coordinating and organising big European wide projects like this. Let us directors have the resources and the power to actually unless the power of this Union. Enough of the talk just do something, Europe and its citizens are begging you."
It is said the director hopes that the commission can listen and get the ball rolling on projects and get more active and communicative. He also said publically "This is not a criticism of the union or its ideals we want to unleash them and its not just me frustrated I've spoken to many leaders in the field in politics and other directors , many are frustrated in our institutions by the situtaiton it needs to change and fast."
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Catching up with Councillor Sofie Čikarová
Lex Burnley, in partnership between Inquista Today and the Europolis Post, sat down with with Councillor Sofie Čikarová to briefly discuss the European Commission, the European Council, and all of the latest in European politics.
LB: Councillor Čikarová, it’s good to talk to you! How are you? How has the adjustment from European Premier to European Councillor been?
SC: Thank you for having me, Lex! Well you know, it is certainly a different type of job, but there are similarities. In both occupations you are occupied with drafting legislation proposals. But it is true that you have to represent different types of interests. As a Commissioner, it is the interest of the Union itself, while as a Councillor I have to represent the interests of the Democratic Republic.
But to be honest, this wasn’t too difficult of a transition. You have to remember that one of the core tenets of Reiserová Thought is to always put the people at the centre. And that was my approach as the Premier Commissioner, and is still my approach now as a European Councillor. Nothing has changed in this regard and it never will change. And if you are consistent in your approach, any adjustments can be done swiftly and easily.
LB: I’m sure you are fully focused on your duties as Councillor, but is there a potential future where we see you put forward your name for Premier Commissioner again?
SC: Hm, that is a good question. You know, I’ve previously said that I don’t intend on ever running again. But now I must admit that this was perhaps a premature statement. I was hoping that there would be another generation of candidates inspired by our common victories. But now I must publicly admit that I was wrong. For some reason, and we could speculate what that reason is for hours, no new fighters have arisen to decide the direction of the Union. Instead, we have returned to the old ways with the Commissioners of the EPA. In my country, such a mistake couldn’t happen. No authority is forcing the people to cut their natural bond with the Great Leader, the people themselves have abolished all term limits, and the Great Leader, with great humbleness, heeded the demands of the people and accepted them. And from now on, I promise to act in a similar manner.
That is not to say that I will run again, but I will not make any statements regarding this. It all depends on the people. If people will want me to run again, I will. No matter what the people decide, I shall listen to further the cause of justice and equality.
LB: I'm sure there are some hoping to see you rejoin Commission politics sooner rather than later, especially now. What do you make of the current European Commission races? Many Europeans don’t seem keen on any of the current candidates.
SC: Horrible. A year and a half ago, I actually warned about something similar. I said that another success of EPA candidates could lead to a dangerous Commissioner being elected in the following elections, and now people can only vote for dangerous candidates! Of course, as we have seen, the majority of the people are voting for the incumbent despite him not running. But what will happen in the next election, after the incumbent won’t be allowed to serve for another term? It seems that unless we do something, a catastrophe is inevitable, and we know too well Mr. Juncker won’t do anything about it. It is upon us to act and save the Union.
And here I would also like to thank all the people that have voted for me despite the fact that I am neither running, nor in the office. It means a lot to me.
LB: From your experience, what does it take to be an effective European Commissioner?
SC: Willingness to listen, respect all opinions, and seek genuine improvements to your proposals. But always stand behind your programme. Never turn away from the people and defend their interests against the agents of the business in the Council. And a cup of coffee in the morning helps too.
LB: The European Council has not been a particularly busy body for a while now. What do you think of the current state of the European Council, and is there anything you would recommend to address this?
SC: Resignation.
LB: Nice. Bold. I like it. Your predecessor used to be chairperson of the European Left. It seems that eurogroups don’t really act as concerted bodies anymore, and they don’t seem to matter anymore at all, really. Do you think this is a symptom of broader European Council inactivity, or do you think this has actually caused Council inactivity?
SC: You know my predecessor actually left the Soocialist Republican Party after stepping down and lost paid posts within the Party. But I would be optimistic, Lex. The factual non-existence of the groups perhaps shows greater willingness of different Councillors to work together to improve the lives of the citizens of the member states of the Union. And that is good, we need to co-operate, not be driven by animosity and fanaticism.
LB: Absolutely. Is there any common ground, in your opinion, where Europe and the European Council come together to achieve something in a particular policy area?
SC: I’ll be honest, nothing comes to mind as of recently, since I have left the Premier Commissioner office. Hopefully the budget will be such a story.
LB: Has Councillor Tusk actually properly apologised to you about Nobel Parts Gate yet, and do you think he’s a misogynist?
SC: No, and nobody from his group offered an apology on his behalf, but that is in the past now. It is far more important to me that we are capable of working together on legislation, and I hope Councillor Tusk sees this the same way.
LB: Inquistan elections are coming up next year, which means your colleague, Councillor Lallana, will be facing election both as a bishop and as Inquista’s Councillor. Current polls suggest Bishop Lallana will not be re-elected to the European Council, and that someone more EPA-aligned or oriented is likely to win. Since Bishop Lallana has openly admired and supported you, and has jointly worked with you on numerous initiatives, would you ever endorse her for re-election? How would you assess her work as Inquista’s Councillor?
SC: Neither I, nor the Democratic Republic, will intervene in the elections in Inquista in any way and we will work with any representative of the Inquistan people or government.
But I will say that Karinn has been a great Councillor that has always tirelessly fought for her people in the Council. She is not one of those that would be fully in the pocket of the European monopolists and oligarchs. And this sadly can’t be said about all of my colleagues.
LB: Thank you for your time, Councillor. Hope to speak to you again soon.
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Juncker, our Last Hope
Juncker, recently elected as Commissioner, is the last hope for Europeans"Help us, Lord Juncker, you are our only hope". Imagine for a moment that was the sentence recorded by Princess Leia Organa on R2D2's memory, on Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope, and that Obi-Wan Kenobi had been substituted by Jean-Claude Juncker. Now, think about the current reality of the European Union, in what seems to be a state of decline. Makes sense, right? With write-in votes saving us from what would have meant a complete disaster for this Union and its rule of law, Juncker has a chance to redeem himself and prove he can be the saviour this region needs, a figure we have long been searching for.
The Commission we elected four months ago is once again back in action, with the Foreign Affairs Commissioner seat being exempt from an election this time due to its term not being over yet. Kevin Cotilla from Leagio has been re-elected as Internal Affairs Commissioner, and while he brought a proposal to the European Council, his attempt to redeem the European Leaders Meeting failed, with him no longer being seen afterwards. Juncker, on his side, managed to get the European Council's approval on his European Agricultural Fund proposal, and proposed the budget for the next fiscal year; but his activity goes no further beyond than that.
Both Juncker and Cotilla, as we said before, have a chance to redeem themselves. However, it is Juncker in whom many people around the European Union have their hope on, and who they believe will lead the European Union to the place it should have never left. Will Juncker attend Princess Organa's call, or will our hope vanish as the term goes on? Only time will tell.
The Kingdom of Spain
His Majesty the King, Felipe VI
President Alberto Núñez-Feijóo
Councillor and Council Speaker Donald Tusk
