Spanish Aniversary Day
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Somewhere Docked in Ibiza
As the Crescent sat docked on one of the larger berths in the marina, Theodora Kligenberg was busy with her entourage enjoying life and holding a fairly short impromptu business meeting on the deck. Everyone seemed to be dressed up to go out, including Theodora. However, business is business and had to be taken care of before they just went out on the town.
"Okay, we are going to launch the knew TR Beauty Mediterranean Splendour palette next month. The lab finally got back to me on that pressed pigments situation with the reds. I hope you all know how HARD this was to make a palette of mostly purple, red and gold," Theodora said at the meeting. "But I know this will sell; it's a unique colour story tied together with the essence of Rome."
The assembled group nodded.
"Well, any questions then?" asked Theodora. "No? Then let's have a few drinks before we get off this boat. It was quite the journey to get here but the Queen told me that she had an inkling some shenanigans would go down at something like this. She heard stories about how Nicolezians princes, Rechcroatian queens and even an Inquistan Archbishop really could throw a wild fete! Plus, as we got closer...cousin Mikaela mentioned that she was on her way to Spain as well."
The staff brought up several bottles of Krug Brut, the champagne company that she now owned with some good investing. Theodora looked at the bottle and picked one up for herself. She had a famous penchant for a good champagne and had been known to drink a couple of bottles on a successful night out.
"Alright, now all of you take at least a bottle. I know I'll be having one to myself before heading out. Maybe a second. Who knows. But a toast! A toast to TR Cosmetics, a £500 million company. May it continue to grow and flourish, and may I do it with such brilliant company," Theodora smiled before taking the beautifully crafted bottle straight to the head.
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Anastasia had landed in Ibiza with the rest of the crew. She never tired of hearing Mikaela talk, it was like listening to a talking puppy. Naive but well intentioned. Anastasia had caught the eye of El Capitán several times, she asked the Nicoleizian God, the best God, why she couldn’t find a man like that. “He’s so strong, he could probably lift me.” She thought to herself. Not like the (late) Nicholas Kligenberg, who had died of natural causes. “He was so annoying. I can’t believe I rented a boat for our wedding.” She continued her internal monologue. “That was expensive and SO not carbon neutral…” Anastasia noticed that the venue was rather empty -- she loved this. There was nothing she hated more than a crowded place. Though this evening, she vowed to be social, look for something special that Nicholas Kligenberg (God rest his soul) could never manage.
Anastasia decided to get a jaeger bomb. When in Ibiza she supposed. She strolled up to the bar and rang the bell because no one was there serving, as it was lowkey quiet.
“One second!” a familiar voice cried out. Anastasia pondered as to who it was. Why could she hear a Nicoleizian accent in the heart of Spain?
From the beaded curtains emerged Prince Tommy with a crate of Four Lokos. Without thinking or looking, he said “what’ll it be?”
The siblings took a double take and Tommy lay silent.
“Thomas.” Anastasia said, using his first name for the first time since he broke into the National Gallery to get a good background for his Instagram post. "What are you doing here?”
“Good question. Well, I met a man called Carlos.”
“THE Carlos?”
“What do you mean?” Tommy said.
“Nevermind. So you came to Spain with this man, then what happened?”
“Well Carlos had to go to Saint Regina to compete in some contest, so he left. He’s still not come back so I’m still just staying in his apartment. But I ran out of money so I had to get this job here.”
“Why didn’t you call me? Or WhatsApp me on the Romanov Group Chat.”
“I honestly like living the proletariat lifestyle, Anastasia. Maybe those communists have got a point. And anyway, no one recognises me because I guess the Spanish have enough news of their own without me on all the front-pages.”
“So are you saying that monarchy is an outdated system of running a country now?”
“Well yeah sis.”
“Disgraceful. Give me a jaeger bomb now.”
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Irene von Taurus
Irene wasn't mad that she arrived to the party early, as under these specific circumstances arriving early was a status symbol - because it meant that she was among the first to escape the dreary parade and dinner. "I hate tradition. It's an excuse to recreate the things your ancestors from 500 years ago found entertaining without adding anything new to them. No creativity, no innovation, no drama."
Angry and annoyed, she went on Yelp and left a horrible review about Spain. "Gee, thanks for the amazing parade. If this were 876 B. C. and we were celebrating victory at The Battle of Perra, I would've been honored to be a part of such a modern and culturally relevant event." She then left a couple of similarly nasty comments on YouTube.
During the party, she enjoyed being the center of attention as usual, but she wanted more excitement. Everything about it was too typical, too beige. "This is probably how the typical Red Croatian pre-adolescent parties. Going to Ibiza, dancing to bad music and drinking overpriced alcohol. This is basic."
Irene looked around the room, searching for inspiration, and realized why she's not having fun. Though she was in a room full of powerful men and women, even some queens, none of them were as dynamic and lively as Irene herself was. Who in this Nicoletzian God forsaken room could she rely on to start the party?
"I'll show these bitches how it's really done."
Irene smirked and grabbed her cellphone, knowing exactly what to do.
"Hey, JLo? We are having a party in Ibiza and the theme is big booty bitches..."
Jenny from the Block
Suddenly, the whole club went dark except one small spot in which a glamurous diva stood, her back facing the shocked crowd. "Ibiza... Prepare for maximum impact..." She lipsynced even the speaking part, which was recorded for her by Natasha Ramos earlier, but who cared? She looked great and was supposedly a talented actress.
The diva then turned around and revealed her identity. It was the Big Booty Bitch herself... Jennifer Lopez. The crowd went wild as she began to perform a mashup of of Dance Again and Call My Name (ESSENTIAL listening). Even though even the lipsync track was consistently off key by two notes, who cared? She looked great and was a talented actress, the exact things you want out of a musical performer.
"This one goes out for the biggest big booty bitch in the world, Irene! Queen I am so honored to be performing for you. Dreams really do come true..." That was the only part of the show that wasn't lipsynced, but it went better than expected: her voice only cracked twice while she was saying it.
The party definitively became more lit after Jlo's surprise appearance, and Irene knew that Mikaela's reaction would stir some more drama later, but she kept on looking for more opportunities to have fun and start some trouble. The Queen was aware of her power and was NOT afraid to use it.
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@Spain said in Spanish Aniversary Day:
Let me say I love La Legión's goat.
And I think that's the end of the parade.
Mr. Docu really liked the parade. He was a man of the details, and he admired the attention that was given to the detail. It wasn't barebones. It wasn't "just essentials". It was everything.
"Truly beautiful." Two words came out of Mr. Docu's mouth.
"Indeed, it is." The King replied.
Mr. Docu had written these words, so he can send it to Lacu once he comes back to Malborya.
"An eye have not seen something this beautiful. I will tell you more face-to-face. Also, you're dumb."
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Jesús hears the conversation. Then, he turns into them and say:
Thanks for your comments. I hope you liked it. Normally, they spend 3 months for prepare the parade. There are many rules to follow, many details that not many see or understand why they do that. And others, do.
That's why there are many ways to understand this parade.
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Back at the Parade
"Thank you so much for the outstanding hospitality and parade; I thoroughly enjoyed everything you had to offer," the Queen said to the Spanish delegation. "Juan Carlos, Letizia...you are wonderful guests and both myself and the Prime Minister would love to have you in Aurelis sometime soon."
The Prime Minister nodded. "Thank you so much; we will take our leave but it is of course an honour to be here in Spain."
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Juan Carlos and Leticia give the queen and the PM 2 kisses and say:
Thanks to you for coming. You're the ones that made this even more special. Of course, no rush to leave.
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Since the music was playing so loudly, Mikaela couldn't really hear what Theodora was saying to her over the phone. She was standing in the middle of the dance floor, music on blast, and screaming into her mobile device. "Where am I!? Is that what you're asking!? Uhh, I'm in Ibiza, which is in... I'm not really sure what country! Hello!? Oh! What club!? It's called El Burro Marica!"
Mikaela hung up the phone when she suddenly saw Prince Tommy of Icholasen appear out of nowhere with a crate of Four Lokos. Mikaela's heart began to beat fast and her eyes glistened. Prince Tommy was Mikaela's favourite burro marcia. Mikaela carefully observed how Tommy then began to fix up a jaeger bomb for his sister Anastasia. Mikaela walked up to the pair of royal siblings.
"Tommy! I can't believe you're here! I tried inviting you, but when I called, it said your phone was no longer in service. I ended up texting your number neighbour instead and met this lovely geriatric woman, Candace, who I invited in your place."
Mikaela pointed toward a very old lady in a wheelchair, who was seated in the very far corner of the club, sitting completely motionless with her head slung backwards.
"Isn't she lovely?" Mikaela mused before then waving and shouting at her. "Hey! Candace! Great party, huh? Looking fab, girl!"
Candace remained motionless in the far corner, with her face glazed over and her eyes open, but not blinking.
"She's a wild one. I bet she's already drunk out of her mind. Although, speaking of getting drunk out of their mind, Tommy, I hope you're staying sober. Tonight is Penelope Cruz's birthday and I don't think we can afford to have one of your episodes tonight," Mikaela said, placing her hand on Tommy's shoulder.
Mikaela suddenly gasped as she touched Tommy. "Oh my gosh, Tommy. Tell me it's not true. There are vicious rumours going around... people are saying you're like... working an actual job. Please tell me who started this slander and I promise you I will make sure that it stops. I have a very good lawyer who specializes in libel cases. He's the one I used against you several times when you said terrible things about me in the press. The one who called you a terrible, spoiled brat with crippling addictions? You remember him? I can give you his number."
Mikaela interrupted her long-winded and one-sided conversation by taking sip of her vodka soda before continuing. "Oh, and Tommy! You have to see the man I got myself. You'll be so jealous," Mikaela gushed as she pointed to Captain Fernandez-Velasquez, who had now taken his shirt off to show his entire naked chest. The Captain was still pulling off his wild dance moves on the dance floor, performing complicated stunts that seemed to be like gymnastic acrobatics.
"I know you could never get anything like that, but don't worry, because I have a plan. See, I always have your back? I've always had this fantasy you know, of like..." Mikaela explained in a hushed tone, pointing to herself, then towards the Captain, and then at Tommy. "You know how they say one's company, two's a crowd, and three's a party? Well, if you behave yourself, maybe we can have a party at the end of the night. Who knows?"
Mikaela's proposition was suddenly cut short when she heard the most fabulous remix of her song Call My Name playing. Mikaela turned around and shouted in excitement. Mikaela's excitement quickly turned to dread, however, as she heard JLo's voice take over the track. "No, not again!" Mikaela yelled, dropping her vodka soda onto the ground.
Mikaela's eyes darted around the club when she suddenly saw JLo live in the flesh, lip syncing away to the song. "What is she doing here? I said no JLo!" Mikaela thought to herself. Mikaela's eyes then darted to Irene, who seemed to be enjoying herself. "Irene von Scorpious!" Mikaela thought.
Mikaela then took at JLo. "I can't believe she has the audacity to steal my song, then show up unannounced at my own event, and then put her own lyrics over yet another song of mine. The audacity of her. The A-U-D-A-C-I-T-Y!"
She had no idea how to rectify the situation and felt paralyzed. Mikaela then glanced back at Irene and slowly began to move toward her. "Irene, this is officially the worst Penelope Cruz birthday bash ever," she said upon reaching Irene, with tears welling up in her eyes. "The big booty bitches party has been ruined. What should I do? What can I even do? JLo is here!"
Mikaela then grabbed Irene by both her shoulders and began shaking her violently like one of her shake weight exercise routines. "Help me!"
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Cayetana suddenly noticed how a circle of people formed around what seemed to be two women fighting
"I wonder what all of that is about" she thought. "Finally something interesting!"
The Duchess of Athenaesios approached the mob and found Mikaela shaking her beloved Irene's sculpted shoulders rather vigorously.
"What should I do?" she said to herself. "Forget that I am the head of state and government of one of the economic powers of Europe and punch that whore in the face or do nothing to protect my queen and cowardly let that psycho break Irene's delicate collarbones, as to maintain my dignity?"Cayetana, having had a glass or eight too many of neat Brandy de Jerez on the rocks hadn't understood that Mikaela was actually asking for Irene's help, and strode towards the Inquistan with an aim to destroy.
"What the actual f*** do YOU think you're doing, you dirty plebe? Don't you know you lumpens are meant to treat us nobles with R E S P E C T? Get your prole hands off her right now!" she shouted with a slurred voice. "Are you okay, my queen? Duchess of Athenaesios, at Your Majesty's service and pleasure."
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Somewhere in Ibiza...
Hello, this is the 112,what's your emergency?
The 112 agent notes the emergency.
Thanks, we'll be there as soon as possible. Hungs up the phone and calls Policía Nacional.
Hi there, calling from 112. A person has reported many scandal on El Burro Marica bar. Let me send you the coordinates.
"Ok, we'll be there now"
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Though the other guests were letting themselves go and acting like fools, Irene was very aware of the paparazzi at this event and how they were going to portray all of this drama. She already knew that by looking insanely good and getting JLo's singular attention she made herself a star of the show, but she wanted to take it further.
She looked at the drama between JLo, Mikaela and Cayetana as a golden chance to get herself good publicity. She first affirmed Mikaela and tried to push her into acting on her worst instinct. "I say you go up and slap her off the stage. Who does she think she is?"
Then, after seeing an angry Cayetana verbally attack Mikaela, she whispered in her ear to manipulate some more drama out of this. "Oh, thank you for protecting me. I have such a thing for strong women who can push nuisances out of the way..." As she was whispering, she seductively touched Cayetana's big booty, suggesting that she's in for a reward if she fucks Mikaela up. *Will you do that for me?" she uttered, elegantly walking away in case Cayetana obeys.
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Tommy cleaned up the broken glass that Mikaela spilled. "Why did I suggest changing to glass cups instead of plastic cups? Honestly screw the planet if it’s sustaining life such as Mikaela’s.” Tommy thought to himself, scooping up the glass from the floor, and then mopping over the already sticky floor. Soon, the floor would become so sticky it would become unbearable. Tommy finished up cleaning while all hell broke loose and went back to the bar and thought about what Mikaela had said to him. In thinking, he forgot the “Suelo Mojado” (wet floor) sign! Dios mio! While Tommy watched WWE: Spain unfold in front of him, he tried, in vain, to process what Mikaela had said to him. He realised now that everyone back home would know he works here, so he could no longer avoid them and the press, people might come to Ibiza for him, rather than cheap package holidays.
What also bothered him, is that Mikaela didn’t think he had someone here in Spain. I mean why else live in Ibiza if it wasn’t the ancestral home of his - well, he didn’t know exactly what him and Carlos were. It had been several days since his competition, whatever that was, and Carlos still hadn’t returned to Ibiza so Tommy was annoyed. But annoyed enough to have a revenge threesome with a soldier and Mikaela Kligenberg?
Anastasia came up to the bar and gestured at the folly. “Tommy what are you going to do about this mess?”
“Uhh, watch I guess? I can’t afford cable so this is the best entertainment I’ve had in weeks.”
“You are totally amoral, you know that?”
“Yes.”
“Okay maybe it is a little entertaining, can I come behind the bar though? I don’t want to become collateral damage.”
“That dress IS collateral damage. But of course, come back here.”
Anastasia came behind the bar, grabbed a drink and filled it half way with gin, and halfway with tonic.
“You’ll have to pay for that you know.”
“What? No mates rates?” Anastasia said mid-sip.
-
Frenzied by Irene's delicate touch and sultry words, Cayetana strode towards Mikaela, who had somehow managed to evade her.
As she approached her, she rolled up her dress, took off one of her heels and threw it at Mikaela's head, wishing for it to hit her right in the middle of her forehead.
Luckily enough, Cayetana's aim wasn't all that good under the effect of the devil's juice, and instead hit a vase filled with flowers that was beside her, breaking it instantly and drenching Mikaela in a mix of dirty stale water and vomit, as someone had apparently decided to use the vase as a toilet earlier.
Cayetana couldn't have wanted a better outcome.
"YASS! Now Irene will definitely make me her queen consort! At least for tonight..." shouted Cayetana. "Where are you, my love?!?" I have done as you requested! Where is my prize?"
Irene, unsurprisingly, was nowhere to be seen. Cayetana thought she must have gone to the bathroom, to wait for her before indulging their passions. So she walked towards the ladies' room and went in, only to slip in a wet, unused tampon somebody had accidentally dropped on the floor.
Now Cayetana too was soaked in a mixture of disgusting, unidentifiable fluids. She began sobbing, for she knew that Queen Irene would never take her in this state.
*What have I done?!?" she gasped. "I just assaulted a woman to have sex with another and look how it has all ended. I need to get my shit together right at this instant."
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In that moment, the Police arrives onto the bar....
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemens. What's going on here?
-
Mikaela was drenched in what seemed to be a mixture of vomit and dirty water. Mikaela’s vision was blurred as her wet hair covered her face. Mikaela was in total shock of what had just transpired. Suddenly, Mikaela fainted. After a minute, Mikaela mustered up all the strength she could, and she managed to get back up onto both her feet. Once Mikaela regained her stability, she felt the arms of Captain Fernandez-Velasquez suddenly wrap around her.
"Are you okay, señorita?" the Captain asked empathetically.
"Yes, I'm fine," Mikaela quietly muttered, wiggling herself free from the Captain's grasp. In truth, Mikaela had endured far worse. Mikaela was very used to getting attacked for no reason, such as the time Prince Tommy assaulted her or the time Irene threw a good punch toward her.
Mikaela's eyes looked up at the Captain. She saw a worrying - yet loving - sparkle in his eye and it lit a fire within her. Mikaela then turned to look for Cayetana, but she was gone.
“Where is the Derectan Prime Minister?” Mikaela asked, as the quiet crowd just stared blankly at her.
“I saw her run for the bathroom. Shall I fetch her?” the Captain asked.
Mikaela nodded. The Captain was a 230lb mass of pure muscle. There was no way that Cayetana could escape him, and he would drag her back to the dance floor kicking and screaming if he needed to. The Captain suddenly went off in a quick flurry to the bathrooms. The Captain quickly re-emerged with Cayetana slung over his shoulder. He threw her onto the ground before Mikaela.
Mikaela took a step forward towards her. "Prime Minister, I am a peace-maker. I do not condone violence. There was a time when I took a stand against the war in Dromund Kaas," Mikaela explained, alluding back to her very brief days when she was the Commissioner for Internal Affairs, whereby she resigned her job following the continuation of the war in Dromund Kaas so that she could spend more time clothes shopping. "I do not fight... unless..."
Suddenly all the lights in the club turned off. The venue went pitch black dark. All of a sudden, a bright spotlight was then shone onto Mikaela, who was now in a sexy soldier's uniform.
"... it's for love."
▻ Fight For This Love starts blasting aloud.
Mikaela then jumped onto a nearby table and began dancing as she sang painfully off-key.
"Quiting's out of the question!" Mikaela sang as she punched and kicked the air while spinning. Mikaela took her military uniform hat and threw it into the darkened crowd.
"When it gets tough, gotta fight some more!" Mikaela sings before ripping the top half of her soldier's uniform off and throwing it away. Mikaela jumped from the table back onto the ground and continued her perfectly choreographed dance. Out of nowhere, El Capitán jumped behind Mikaela. El Capitán was nearly stark naked, wearing nothing but his combat boots and a thong, which accentuated his well-rounded peaches. The Captain began to grind on Mikaela as she danced.
"We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love! We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love! We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love" Mikaela sang as she spun around to face the Captain. The two locked eyes before both suddenly jumping away - Mikaela doing a back hand spring and the Captain doing a backflip.
"If it's' worth having, it's worth fighting for! Oh!" Mikaela sang as she slut-dropped. Mikaela then stared to breakdance, moving her lower body seductively with her upper body and her arms. The Captain performed a front hand spring towards Mikaela and then started shaking his rear end. Mikaela then got up and started grinding on the Captain as she repeated the chorus of her song. "We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love! We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love We gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love!"
Mikaela then spun around and stared at Cayetana. "I couldn't end the war in Dromund Kaas, but I can end this one."
The lights then suddenly turned on. The Captain appeared behind Cayetana, fully clothed in his legionnaire uniform. Captain Fernandez-Velasquez grabbed Cayetana with his arm and lifted her up from the ground and then slung her over his shoulder. The Captain carried her out of the club, where a group of Spanish policemen were waiting. "Tengo la perra, muchachos," the Captain said as he placed her on her knees on the ground. The Captain forced Cayetana's arms behind her back and he handcuffed her, which brought Mikaela much disappointment, since she wanted to use them on the Captain and Tommy later in the evening.
Mikaela looked down at Cayetana from the top of the stairs outside the club. Mikaela was worried. She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted at Cayetana, "Girl! This is a truce! Call me when you get to jail, ok?!"
A feeling of strength and empowerment overcame Mikaela. She could feel all her muscles coming alive. Mikaela darted back into the club and scanned the venue to find the person she had been waiting many years to confront. Eventually, Mikaela's eyes locked on JLo. Mikaela then jumped onto the bar, where Anastasia and Tommy were watching from behind.
Mikaela pointed at JLo and began to talk in a raised voice. "You! What do you have to say for yourself? You know what you have done to me. You have stolen my song, Booty, which I wrote with Pitbull! I'm the real big booty bitch! What do you have to say for yourself? How will we settle this?!"
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Excuse me sir, but what has this lady done?
-
JLo was so shocked by Mikaela's appearance that she forgot to lipsync her song, leading the crowd to boo her. Statements like "At least Mikaela is off-key live!!!" were shouted. JLo was so upset and annoyed with the situation, but she knew what she had to do.
"Look at this, guys!" She climbed up on the same bar as Mikaela and started twerking. The crowd was overjoyed and back to loving JLo. Who cared that she can't sing? It's not like that's her job. Her booty hypnotized them all.
"You think that you can top this? Just give up. You can fight fight fight for your love all you want, but my booty is undefeatable. It's a defense that can only be penetrated by something that you don't have, missy."
She then looked around the bar and shouted "Where my Latinos at? Don't our women have the best booties?" The Spainish speakers in the crowd became overjoyed and enthusiastically cheered, as they for some reason always took pride in knowing that their biggest celebrity is mostly famous for her ass.
"Do you think that this scrawny white girl could sing a song about big fat asses believably? Instead of me?" Though most of the crowd didn't respond, several extremely loud people yelled out a resounding NO. This was enough for JLo to feel victorious.
Full of confidence, she walked off the bar and towards the stage, paused, looked back at Mikaela and said. "For the record, I'm Jennifer Lopez, a celebrity that used to be relevant in the 2000s... With LATINA magazine's blessing, I declare you need to put your tiny ass to rest. Once again the world has proven: Anything you can do, a B-list fifty year old celebrity can do better." She strutted away and got on stage to lipsync Booty, ready to impress the crowd.
-
Miss López you should calm down.
Meanwhile, an agent realised of Candance body in the floor
Martínez, come here! Look, it's an old women. She doesn't breath. Call an ambulance. How much time have passed since this woman isn't breathing?
-
"She is guilty of attacking an icono marica," the Captain said. He then turned around and walked back into the club.
Mikaela was shook. Her booty power was truly outmatched by JLo. JLo also had an unfair advantage, with all the Latinos cheering her on. However, Mikaela was a local, so she had the home superiority at least. Once JLo's lip sync to Booty was over, the remix of Call My Name and Dance Again started playing again.
Singing even worse off-key than before, Mikaela started to sing as she popped her booty. Some of Mikaela's fellow locals went wild. JLo, who never seemed to be content with anyone doing their own thing, then started to sing along. JLo sang just as off-key as Mikaela, and the horrendous sounds of their voices joined together in an unholy matrimony, which actually sounded... half decent. The crowd went wild as JLo actually sang instead of lip syncing as she normally would, and they rejoiced in the utter chaos that was produced by their conjoined vocals.
Mikaela and JLo, who were both often criticized for being "dancers and not singers", knew how to pull some serious moves. Mikaela shook her flat booty as JLo twerked the house down. Sure, Mikaela didn't have as big of an ass as JLo, but she did have an impeccable sense of rhythm, and she was a talented dancer in her own right. After the two women finished painfully singing the song, and ass-qukaing the entire club, they were left drenched in sweat.
Mikaela gasped for air as she recuperated from all her dancing. She gave JLo an uncertain look. A smile crept across her face. Mikaela extend her hand out to JLo. "Your booty... is truly bootylicious."
-
Irene von Taurus
Irene was long fucking gone, as she did NOT want to be anywhere near Cayetana, whom she considered a stalker and only used for publicity. By the time she flew back to her home country, she took note of internet gossip sites talking about Cayetana fighting in the name of Irene, which affirmed the Queen's already strong status as a desirable sex symbol who even made heads of states go crazy for her. That made her very happy and made her sleep like a baby that night.
El Trisha
What nobody at Ibiza knew was that there was a legend overlooking their night. The iconic El Trisha... The woman who was exiled from Red Croatia for being too fat and is now getting her revenge by showing the world the power a plus size girl can wield by orchestrating high profile crimes well known across Europe.
And in order to pull off her latest stunt, she got help from her naive secret accomplice, Mikaela Kligenberg. After Mikaela's respect for JLo was reciprocated and the two made up, Mikaela suggested to JLo that they should move their performances outside. Always ready for an attention grabbing stunt like that, JLo agreed and the two called upon their audience to party in the outdoors part of the club where the cops who cuffed Cayetana were.
The sudden stampedo of wild drunk people distracted the police who were positioned out there, and so did the random fireworks and colorful smoke screen bombs (that deceptively looked like party props) went off. The police was suddenly so flabbergasted by the mess at the club that by the time they began regaining control of the situation, they noticed that Cayetana was missing while they couldn't mobilize themselves because of the huge amount of people partying all around them. It was the perfect crime that left no realistic window of opportunity for the cops.
When Cayetana regained her composure, she was instructed by Trisha (whom she most likely recognized) not to worry. "You and Queen Irene hit it off very well today. I am here to make sure you get the relationship you deserve!" She spoke in a cheerful and childish tone, suggesting that she orchestrated all of this because she was a fan of Iretana.
Cayetana had no way of knowing what exactly was going on, like how Trisha even knew about her attempted flirtation with Irene, so she didn't understand the complexity and the intention of Trisha's rescue.
Trisha, who hated Irene because she was Queen of Red Croatia (the country from which Trisha was exiled for being too fat), had eyes and ears following the Queen and got informed of Irene's seduction of Cayetana. She wanted to kidnap Cayetana to capture Irene's, and the world's, attention - demonstrating her competence in a highly publicized crime that the media was bound to tie up with the very famous Irene and Cayetana, a potential lesbian love affair between them and Cayetana's escape from prison. It was a complete mess and Trisha lived for it.
She escaped Spain with Cayetana using a jet Mikaela borrowed her, which was her last stroke of genius - as it was not a suspicious vehicle. Trisha was surprisingly brilliant at this, and paid close attention to those small details.
Eventually, the two women and Trisha's henchmen landed in a location unfamiliar to Cayetana and went to a very safe looking house that had a calming beach view. "You'll be hanging out here for a while, hope you like it!" Trisha squealed out of excitement.
The Kingdom of Spain
