EUROVOICE 39 RESULTS SHOW
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After Europe Day celebrations, Jesús Aguilar decided to stay in Europolis for the EuroVoice 39 Results Show, as he loved the contest. He already told his wife about it, and he said no problem. The falcon flought back on Tuesday and he would pay for his comeback flight to Spain. He had to buy a costume, and he bought the first one he saw. When the Spanish Prime Minister entered the Haunted Chateau in Europolis, many people looked at him and took photos. The President took a seat next to the EUBC seats and was ready to enjoy the show:
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Prince Tommy and Carlos laboured over what they were going to be for Halloween.
'I told you I don't want to be an orange.' Said Carlos.
'I think that our body shapes lend themselves to being an orange and a banana. Is the orange part a problem ? You could be an apple ??' Said Tommy
'You have the body of a young, hot, cocaine addict on Euphoria and I have the body of an old fat man !'
'But that's okay ! That's why I love you, Carlos. What would you like to go as ?'
'What about Rock Hudson and a closeted twink ?'
'I could never believably be closeted. And you could never believably be Rock Hudson.'
'Goddamnit Tommy ! Okay fine I guess neither of us are suited to those parts. What about Captain Hook and Robin Hood ?'
'Sweetie none of us are hooked.' Tommy replied
'Okay, then Batman and Robin ?'
'I can just imagine the headlines - the Weight Crusader.'
'That is so rude. But I have more ideas. What about the guys from Brokeback Mountain ?'
'I think you'd be better suited as the mountain.'
'Okay here's my last shot.' Carlos said, defeated.
'Shoot.'
'Juncker and Winston?'
'Who are they? I don't follow politics.'
Carlos sighed. 'Well - what other ideas do you have ?'
'I think we should be Aang and Oppa from Avatar: The Last Airbender.'
'Fine.' Carlos said, unimpressed.
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark was in her dressing room getting ready for the show with Queen Anastasia.
'Hey, Anya,' Elvira said. 'Are you feeling spooky?'
'I'm not really feeling the Halloween spirit, Elvira. Could you help a poor Queen like me find the true meaning of Halloween ?'
'Why, sure!' Elvira said. 'Do you know what you're going to dress as ?'
'Maybe Lunon, the Nicoleizian communist leader from the 1920s ?'
'That isn't very spooky.' Elivra sighed.
'It is to me !!' Anastasia replied, offended. 'He tried to kill my ancestors. AND that was in October too.'
'Yeah I really hate how those communists have taken the month of October for themselves. Probably the worst thing they've done.' Elvira said, thinking.
'Um, hello? They exiled me from my country !' Anastasia said.
'Yeah, but what's more important, your rights or candy corn ?' Elvira said, scooping herself a whole mug-full of candycorn from the ornate bird-bath like repository.
'Hmm I suppose. But okay, give me some ideas.'
'I see you're here on your own ?'
'Yes - is there a problem with that ?'
'Oh, no. I'm just never alone what with these 2 big pumpkins. Just the three of us all the time !' Elvira said, dropping a piece of candy corn into her cleavage and then fiddling to get it with her huge nails. 'But okay, what about going as an e-girl ?'
'I feel I'm too old for that.'
'What about a e-woman then ?'
'Is that even a thing ?'
'No.' Said Elvira, solemnly.
'Okay then - what other suggestions do you have ?' Anastasia sighed.
'Why not keep it simple and go as a witch ?'
'People already accuse me of killing my husbands - I think a witch would be too on the nose.'
'Okay - my last big suggestion is the evil Queen from Snow White ?'
'That sounds perfect and would never be used as a critique of me by my many critics !'
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Simon on the other hand rented a hotel in Europolis secretly to give a surprise attendance in Eurovoice 39's Results Night. However, the invitation encouraged guests to have a halloween costume. Simon kept looking at the closet and his luggage for anything he could wear.
"Ah Sh_t! I forgot my costume in Downing Street. Natalie will surely scold me for this. Oh well, I have to wear the suit Mikaela bought me." said Simon in frustration.
As Simon walks at the park, he did not yet wear the suit. He bought some ice cream with his companions and went back to the hotel.
After a few moments, before the show started. Simon hurriedly went to the elevator with his companions and went to the Haunted Chateau. This time he is wearing his suit.
He sat down smiling at the stage and hopes that he won't get booed by the audience for not wearing some Halloween Costume. Then suddenly, a man approached and asked:
"Where'd you get that Simon Bridges costume? He looks amazing and I think you made a right choice. Mr. Bridges is one of the best Heads of Governments here in Europe."
Simon did not know what to say then his companions talked to the guy:
"Ah, you see this man is Simon Bridges. That isn't a guy wearing a costume." said one of the companions.
The guy got shocked that he finally met his favorite politician. Many admired Simon for his courage and his diplomatic skills. So, there might be no problem when it comes to Simon not wearing a costume.
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Tobias Johnson Farage , PM Terence Fitzcharles and Felix Underhill met up just 10 minutes from the chateux, they would make their way to the chateux together. Tobias had dressed up in drag for the occaison with Terence dressing as Slender man and Felix as a vampire cat. They were gonna enjoy the show as Eurovoice was announced. They arrived at the Chateaux together. Fitzharles in costume snook up on Simon Bridges and made him jump. He was going to laugh as he freaked out.
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Archbishop Mikaela Kligenberg arrived at the Haunted Chateau and walked inside. "Oh my goodness," she announced with shock as she observed the interior of the haunted mansion. "Once the property brothers are done flipping my place, maybe they can come pay this chateau a visit. It'll definitely need a glitter room."
Mikaela walked to nearby mirror. She squealed with disgust as she wiped the cobwebs away with her sleeve. "Eeew!"
The Archbishop then carefully observed herself in the mirror. "Ah, much better," she sighed with relief, catching a glimpse of herself. Mikaela loved her outfit. It was the outfit she wore when she performed Fight For This Love live before a TV audience for the first time, which she was super proud of, because she only received mild criticisms for the lack of her vocal strength. In order to make the outfit spooky, Mikaela adorned it with some insignias and badges that Air Marshal Copala had given her, which came from communist rebels that were killed in New Moreland. The Archbishop looked like a stunning and authentic red army general, except that her chest was too exposed to survive a winter campaign.
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Peter Montfort, former Chairman of EuroVoice, European Councillor, and European Commissioner, and recently-appointed Chairman of the Angleter for Europe campaign, had put a lot of time and effort into his costume, choosing to go as what he considered a truly terrifying concept.
It was something of a relief for Peter to be back in Europolis. The first few days of the campaign hadn't been great. The narrative that he was only fighting to save Angleter's EU membership because it had given him a succession of well-paid jobs over several years was proving difficult to fight, not least since it was mostly true.
In fact, he felt like giving a little abuse back for once. Clocking one attendee in a hyper-realistic costume, he shouted "OI, SIMON BRIDGES! WANKER!" as he headed towards the bar.
At the bar, Peter started talking to Tobias Johnson Farage. "Good job that wasn't actually Bridges, huh?"
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Natzeldu arrived at the Haunted Chateau after an exhausting flight. But nevertheless, Natzeldu was more energetic than ever as this was the first Eurovoice she has gone to in person for a few years. She was a busy woman. Natzeldu thought she would bring her mask as well for a theatrical effect. She saw Mikaela Kligenberg and all of her aesthetic glory. Natzeldu loved a girl in a uniform. She walked up to Mikaela Kligenburg and said her signature greeting, "Hey, how are you?"
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ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK: Welcome to a macabre evening of Eurovoice festivities. When yours cruelly was invited to host this most prestigious of shows, I thought to myself, get in ! I'm sure the fans of this show are straight, eligible bachelors ! Elvira looks at Prince Tommy how wrong I appear to have been... Of course this is a very serious competition and we have some Eurovoice royalty here - Peter Montfort is dressed as the scariest thing imaginable: Angleterexit ! I shudder to think what the EU will do without Nick Knowles. Truly a cruel era of hardship that will be. We also have the troll under the bridge here Elvira rereads her notes Oh wait, Simon Bridges ! Basically the same thing. #BeastMode. Mikaela Kligenberg is among us -- the only woman in this room with a pair of pumpkins rivalling mine - sorry Anastasia.
But let's get on with the show. We've had some haunting entries. Some were truly despicable - cough Angleter. Our first stop for results is Fremet, with Betty White hiding up in the alien attic. I hope the aliens are kind to old people from places that begin with F by the sea. Betty, can we please have your first votes ?
ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK: What a septet of votes. Loving the horns, Betty !! Could we now have your 8 points ?
ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK: That's a very spooky 8 points for Spain ! Can we get your 10 points now ?
ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK: The Joint Nicoleizian Eurovoice Team has received 10 points ! Wow. Thanks Fremet ! And now can we get your 12 points ?
ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK: Thanks for your votes Betty ! I hope she's having a hoot in the alien attic !
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ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK: Welcome back ! We now go to Madame Marco who is currently in the Haunted Chateau's Crypt. I wonder if any of my exes are down there...
ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK: Could we now have your 8 points ?
ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK: And now your 10 points.
ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK: And now the biggest, juiciest 12 points.
ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK: Let's now check the leaderboard !
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Elvira Mistress of the Dark: We have some more ghoulish results !
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'Spain and the Union of Duchies known as 2 of the most corrupt EV places in the EU cannot be responsible for engineering the outcome of a Eurovoice race, a very important Eurovoice race. They're going forward, they don't want anyone watching them as they count the douze points. I don't know why, if it's straight they should be proud of it but instead they're trying obviously to commit fraud.' Paloma Faith lamented, to a bored Mikaela Klingenberg as the results from those two places looked dismal for Icholasen's Eurovoice chances.
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'Our goal is to defend the integrity of eurovoice we will not allow the corruption to steal such an important Eurovoice or any Eurovoice for that matter and we, uh, we can't allow anyone to silence our voters.' Paloma Faith said to a confused Peter Montford.
'We are closing in on announcing a winner' Elvira Mistress of the dark said to the gathered congregation of devout Eurovoice stans. 'We only have 2 countries left to vote, Icholasen and the Conch Kingdom. This means that Icholasen's lead will likely shrink.'
'FRAUD' Paloma Faith shouted.
'Um, chile, anyway.' Elvira Mistress of the Dark said.
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ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK: Well folks, with just the Conch Kingdom left to declare, we have Spain in the lead with 73, Red Croatia and Mennrimiak both coming 2nd (we've all been there ladies), Icholasen on fourth with 65, and Sinquista on 5th with 62 votes.
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ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK: Well, we have a winner ! Congratulations Spain on this ooky spooky win. Where will Eurovoice be next ? London or Madrid or New York or Athens or Rome or Barcelona, (Elvira takes a long, deep, exasperated breath) ooooor Edinburgh or Gibraltar or Berlin or Paris or Lisbon or San Juan ? We'll have to see !! Commiserations to Mennrimiak on losing so closely, but at least your nation won't have to spend millions of Euros on some rando competition !
And so we're at the end of the Halloween season. Me and Mariah Carey are running the most important November transition team - from Halloween to Christmas. I'll see you next year, ghouls ! But for now, Mariah, take it away.
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The Spread Sheet (Oh behave!!!) -
"FRAUD!" shouts some fans.
"WE WANT A RECOUNT! SPAIN SHALL SUFFER IN PURGATORY! JUSTICE FOR MENNRIMIAK!" shouted again.
Some members of the crowd climbed the stage dressed in their Halloween costumes and tried to get the award from the Spanish competitor and give it to the Mennrimian or the Inquistan.
Simon walked out on the other hand in disappointment.
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Well, that was it for her. This was her only chance for asylum; later today, while Kurz still had power to do so, she would be deported back to Eastern Haane; back not to the safe places but to those that remained under the control of the Assemblies; she, and thousands of her countrymen, over the next few weeks, would die, simply because she could not win this contest.
She had received the phone-call saying all this from that vampire a few hours ago; she had rushed to board a flight to Europolis, and now was there. She would have to return soon; her provisional alien's passport would expire soon. Vampire - a good word for describing that excuse of a man. He had promised her - promised her! - that she would not be deported if she were able to get at least one 12. But no, now he had changed his mind. She had no use to him, and thus would be expelled from the country.
She replayed that voice, that terrible voice, in her head. "Well, it's goodbye for you!" he had said so cheerfully. "Goodbye for you and all your friends!" He wanted them to die painfully; he did not care for them at all if they could not give him anything. And now - now they would die.
Die, die, die, die, die. Her thoughts were filled with the word, as she imagined the various ways she could die. Perhaps she would be eaten alive; perhaps she would be crucified; who knew?
She did not wear a costume; she had no time to put one on after the call.
She climbed onto the stage, ignoring the fight, ignoring those who were about to speak. Picking up a megaphone carelessly tossed aside by someone she had seen fleeing from the scene, she walked to the front of the stage, and spoke.
"This has," she said, tears welling, "been both an amazing and terrible Eurovoice. One has won; all others have lost. That was an inevitability. I am among those in the latter group, and I...and I accept that gracefully, for I am not a coward. Unlike these people behind me, who fight pettily, refusing to believe that their decision making was perfect, I admit my own flaws, admit my own failings, and attempt to improve."
She paused.
"But I cannot do so, for I am to die within a few hours. I failed here, and for that, I pay with my asylum and my life. In five hours, no longer will I be allowed to remain in Austria; I will be deported, along with hundreds of my countrymen, to Eastern Haane, dropped from high above the plains of its south, where the murderous Assemblies remain in power. Twelve hours from now, I expect that we all in the first batch of deportees will be dead. Eventually, the rest of us will all be deported to that place of evil, the rest of us in Austria, and we will certainly all die, simply because I was not able to captivate Europe. I am a terrible singer, a terrible musician - what else could I be if I was not even able to save my compatriots, my countrymen, from death? I must return now; the provisional passport that the Austrian government has lent me is soon to be revoked. Goodbye, Europe; goodbye forever."
Agnes ran from the stage, out of the chateau, and hailed a taxi to the airport. It was over for her, over forever. All that awaited her was pain and death.
The Kingdom of Spain
