Plastic Surgery Woman (Expulsion from Council) Bill
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Good day to all! The woman before me is sick, so I will fill in.
I am in full support of this bill. Our Union has a tendency to elect these very bad people. This is not good. People should not be allowed to elect these bad people, they bring misery to everyone by creating chaos. And then the good people have to go to banish the chaos and the bad people, so that the good may come.
I love my country, I love this Union, and I want to lead both to the happiness. If the people keep electing bad people, though, they will keep suffering. So we cannot allow these bad people to come to power. We must trust in the good people and obey them fully, so that we may be happy and away from the bad people.
This woman is a very bad person, and she must be removed, but that does not mean that she is evil. She is simply deluded. Women cannot do this work; they simply are not meant to. They are like glass, under the slightest pressure their minds and bodies will shatter, and then they are left like this poor woman! Imagine! So many years forced to work in this position - what horrors it must have done to her! But now she is bad, and now must be taken away to make sure the people are happy and she herself can recover and to the proper things women, especially affected women like her, are supposed to do. Like a sponge cake, everything has to be perfect! This poor woman had so many changes made to her recipe, so much weight placed upon her, that now she is sour and flat! No one likes these foods, they are rejected! They make people ill!
So this woman for our happiness and hers, she has to go back!
Akem Linek
Deputy Councillor for the Republic of Istkalen -
Upon being elected to the European Council, I expected to draw attention from the bourgeoise elites of Europe, and those who work for them in Europolis, and so I'm certainly not surprised to see Cllr. Trympov rushing to act as a loyal puppet to their cause. Clearly I stand for a very righteous cause, otherwise Cllr. Trympov wouldn't be acting so fast to remove me from the Council. I shall take this sinister piece of legislation as a compliment. Cllr. Trympov knows exactly what I stand for, and he is frightened.
Councillors, what you're seeing today is a very, very scared man. Cllr. Trympov knows that the winds of revolution are sweeping across Europe, and that the days of a capitalist and exploitative world order are numbered. Inevitably, Cllr. Trympov knows that his days as a bourgeoisie capitalist are numbered, and that the fortune and life he has built on the broken backs of Europe's working people will soon come to an end. With a newly-elected PEL-dominated European Commission, and my own election to the European Council, Mr. Trympov is now spinning his wheels as the rich elites of Europe begin to lose grasp of their power, and he is fearing that his own position as one of those elite is under threat. He is practically quaking in fear. Quaking in his tiny little boots, which are even smaller than his tiny little hands. You know what they say about small feet and small hands, right? Unfortunately, there's no plastic surgery for that, and so he's clearly very bitter about it.
Everyone deserves to be happy in their own bodies. I personally feel that God designed every person perfectly as they should be... can I get an amen? But it's completely alright to make changes that will allow you to be comfortable in your own skin. Just like, for example, Cllr. Trympov's fake tan and fake hair. I, myself, have never ever had any plastic surgery. Yes, I know that I have pretty privilege, and I own and recognise that fact. It's something that I've had to work through my whole life, but thankfully Lizzo's hit-song 'Juice' has really helped me cope. I know that I got that juice. "Gotta blame it on my juice, baby! It ain't my fault that I'm out here making news!"
Nothing about me is fake, which is why Cllr. Trympov is so threatened. He knows that not only is his position as a wealthy capitalist now under pressure, but he also knows that everyone is waking up to what he truly is: a liar and a fraud. Real eyes realise real lies. Cllr. Trympov did such a horrible job as a politician in Pravoslaviya, he basically got fired. "You're fired, Mr. Trympov!" is what he was told. He was then demoted as Deputy Prime Minister, and sent to Europolis and replaced by Mr. Shakur. Cllr. Trympov wasn't even elected to the Council the first time, because they were so scared he wouldn't end up winning any votes. Cllr. Trympov then got curb-stomped by that neolib Speaker who basically also fired him. "You're fired!" Speaker Firoux told him. Cllr. Trympov then went crawling to the ECoJ on all fours, with his tail between his legs, and you know what they told him? "You're fired, Mr. Trympov!"
After feeling so humiliated by Cllr. Trympov's spectacular flop, who had by then become a national embarrassment, the leaders of Pravoslaviya had to stage a rigged election so that they could go on with their jobs and lives without having to worry about Cllr. Trympov ever returning from Europolis again. They don't want him, and they're ashamed of him. They also know he is a fraud and a fake, and they want him as far away as possible.
Despite this, Cllr. Trympov is not to be underestimated. He is very dangerous, and he is probably the most dangerous person in Europolis. This is the man who tried to kill Taylor Swift in cold blood. Cllr. Trympov organised for Taylor Swift to be blown up over the Atlantic Ocean, and then claimed that the real Taylor Swift was alive in Pravoslaviya, which is a lie he continues to perpetuate today. Some say that the assassination attempt on Taylor Swift was organised by Paloma Faith, but that is another lie propped-up by the neoliberal capitalist-friendly media who like to defend Cllr. Trympov, who is their puppet.
When Cllr. Trympov fired me in the fifth episode of his second season of The Celebrity Apprentice, I knew then and there that he was not only out of touch with the average working-class European, but also out of touch with reality. He is unhinged and deranged. Everyone knows that Ludacris deserved to be fired over me, since he was both the project manager and the one responsible for the poor leaflet design of our dog walking service, and I was the one that actually pulled in the 2nd most customers. It is evident that Cllr. Trympov has never been well acquainted with good judgment or with a sense of justice.
Cllr. Trympov's mad ramble and tirade against me, as well as this sad excuse for a bill, has exposed him for everything he is. Orange Man bad. It's time that European Council stops taking him seriously, and quickly moves on to deal with the real issues facing the people of Europe today.
Bp. Karinn Lallana
Councillor for Inquista -
I am wondering - when you, poor woman who is sour and flat and poisonous of no fault of your own - you spoke of Ludacris, were you speaking of Anna Ludacris, evil demon idiot child-eater and abuser who sits on the horrible JTAI? If you were, then perhaps there is a hope for you - you, despite being deformed and bad, might have still a glimmer of good - of sponge cake uncrushed and sweet - within you. It is very hard for people to identify the totally immoral like Ms. Ludacris, who take the innocent children and scar them and laugh, while at the same time being so incompetent that many suffer, who are self obsessed. Or maybe that is the doing of the equally evil puppet transvestite Yahontov, who speaks the evil nonsense constantly so that people are deceived and fall under his witchy spells. But you cannot deceive me, Mr. Yahontov, villain who creates falsehoods as to cheat people! I bathed in the holy water this morning! My good luck ring will chase you away too, demon!
But if the plastic surgery woman knows this, then they cannot get her! If she knows about the bad people, the Satanic Ludacris and the mentally ill perverted Yahontov, who I will recommend services for as to not be a transvestite puppet of bad people, they can’t so we should not condemn her too harshly.
But she is still a flat cake, a bad cake, who tricks people, so we cannot flatten her more and let the people elect bad people to bring them into misery.
Akem Linek
Deputy Councillor for the Republic of Istkalen. -
The only person who is being fired here is Plastic Surgery Woman, who's been fired before - by me, because I have great judgment - and now she's being fired again, because she's a loser, folks. We don't need losers in the European Council.
I mean would you listen to her language, OK, it's disgusting. Whenever I see her on TV, I go to my son Baron and say 'cover your ears!' I have to tell him 'don't talk like that woman, it's wrong!' Do we want parents all over Europe, when they're watching the Council - because I'm here, that's going to happen, because I actually got the best ratings with The Celebrity Apprentice, and let me tell you, they went up so far after I fired Cllr Lallana - do we want parents having to cover their little kiddies ears, saying 'don't listen to the Council, honey'? 'Don't listen to the Council, dear'?
And folks, she is such a liar. Do we want the little children tuning into the Council and hearing lies like 'oh, I've never had plastic surgery'? I mean you can see it all right here, all the work she's had done; maybe she would be better off without it, I don't know, it doesn't look great, but folks, we can't see what's behind her botched plastic surgery, OK? We can't see her real face, I've heard a lot of bad things, so maybe it's worse, but we don't know. But this liar cannot be allowed to come with her hideous mask into our Council!
I mean, she talks about my persecution at the hands of the Globalists, which I won - I'm here, I won, the Pravoslaviyan people voted for me, and by a much bigger margin than 51.31%, by the way - and she also says I represent the rich elite? She says being a councillor is something you get if your country wants to get rid of you, but she hasn't looked in the mirror - probably because it would break - but she's all over the place, folks. She thinks pulling in the second most customers in a task - which is wrong, by the way, she claimed one of Piyers Morganov's sales for her own, and everybody knows it - is some kind of achievement? She's gone even more crazy than usual because she's desperate, because she's been found out, and now she's going to be expelled from the Council forever.
And look, this woman is a Globalist and a Communist at the same time. That's completely wrong, OK, it's no surprise she's confused all the time. Even the Globalists and the Communists are looking at her like 'what'? They're like 'what'? Look, I don't often agree with Cikarova, and I don't often agree with Granger, but I get along with everybody, and Plastic Surgery Woman is so wrong. She's a liar, she's a fraud, she's a bully, her language is so bad and confused, she throws around crazy allegations, she's basicallu a flat cake. Cllr Linek is right, she's a flat cake, and she tricks people. We have got to get Plastic Surgery Woman out of the Council folks, and maybe into prison, we'll see. But first we get her out of the Council.
Cllr Dragan Trympov
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Debate will continue until 5 July 2021 at 12h00 GMT.
Charles Michel
Council Speaker and Councilor for Fremet -
While I may be a newcomer to this Council, I'm quite certain I know when things have gone too far.
We may be seen by the rest of Europe as unstable or, I'll admit, somewhat defiant of orders from time to time (smiles). However, Cllr. Trympov, this type of behaviour in a public office has potential to set off more instability than is truly necessary. Because sometimes the worst thing one can do is create conflict where none should be.My government relies on me to convey messages from Gadalland and Aspern to the European Council, and our message is this: this is not a bill. What would happen, Cllr. Trympov, if this bill was passed? Your [forgive me], nonsensical, offensive, dialogue does nothing for the people of Europe. It shames those who look different; It shames people with oppposing beliefs, and worst of all it will be encoded in our laws forever. It will make those that do not know us think that Europe means less and less each passing day.
I ask Cllr. Trympov to rethink this bill, and his grammar. Sertia does not approve.
Ms. Edutitalle Dína
European Councillor
Six Unions of Gadalland and Aspern -
Yes, Cllr. Dína, drag him! That's right.
My colleague from Gadalland and Aspern is absolutely correct. This proposal is nonsensical, offensive, and does nothing for the people of Europe - just like Cllr. Trympov himself.
Cllr. Trympov is just throwing everything at the wall at this point, and he's just praying that something sticks. He's trying to sow division among the working-class people of Europe, who have recently come together to unite for a common cause, and now he and the rich elites of Europe are frightened and scared. This is what is to be expected from the bourgeoisie. This is a textbook divide and conquer strategy used by capitalists everywhere. The people of Europe will not be so easily divided or fooled by this man's antics.
The only lies that are being spoken in this Chamber are coming from Cllr. Trympov. He's lying through his teeth, even though we have footage and tapes which prove otherwise. I absolutely got the second most sales for Team SYNERGY in that task. 15 sales in fact. I scored three German Shepherds, three Pomeranians, two Poodles, two Labradoodles, a Shiba Inu, a Chihuahua, a Pug, a Jack Russell and a Beagle for our dog walking service. EVEN A BEAGLE! Do you know how unfriendly Beagle owners are? And yes, I landed that sale to walk the Shiba Inu, not Piyers Morganov. If you look at the tapes, I approached the owner first, got him engaged with our service, and then I handed him over to Piyers as I had to talk to another customer, before then returning back to him later. Clearly I was the one who secured him in the first place and the one who sealed the deal in the end. Cllr. Trympov is absolutely lacking in judgement, and he is lying.
Cllr. Trympov says he gets along with everybody, but this is coming from the bully who has said the most disgusting and vile things about... well, just about everybody. He has a big list - which is the only big thing about him - of terrible and tacky nicknames for every person under the sun. For some reason, a lot of us on the receiving end of these nicknames and bullying antics are women. I don't think this is a coincidence. Cllr. Trympov is without any dignity or respect, and he is absolutely not the gentleman he thinks he is.
[Holds up a graphic picture depicting a refugee's body on a beach] Of course, what do we expect from a man who participated in a government that torpedoed ships carrying refugees? The only person who should be in prison here is Cllr. Trympov. Cllr. Trympov is very much complicit in the death of many innocent refugees, which, I cannot stress this enough: were torpedoed to death. Cllr. Trympov is a murderer, and he is a dangerous man. If anyone should be in prison, it should be him, along with his other ultra-rich bedfellows who have exploited and brutalised mankind for far too long.
This man needs to be disregarded and forgotten about for once and for all, so that we can begin to address the many real and grave issues facing the working people of Europe, and the issues facing our planet's environment at this crucial moment.
Bp. Karinn Lallana
Councillor for Inquista -
First of all, Piyers closed that Shiba Inu deal. The man was about to walk away, you can see on the tapes, he's about to walk away, maybe he's repelled by Cllr Lallana's plastic surgery, I don't know, but Piyers comes in and gets him back in. And the three Pomeranians were Ludacris, you were just recording them and you know it.
Folks, if I wanted to suppress opposing views, I would propose a bill to abandon opposing views from the Council, OK? I'd say, oh, ban Globalists, or ban Communists, or ban Patriots, or whatever. But I don't do that, because I like having different views, different people, you get people from all different backgrounds and it's really good, it's a lot of fun at times. And look, I have nothing against women, I've been married three times, I have a really beautiful daughter, I think women - most women - are great.
But really, Plastic Surgery Woman is so bad, it's unique, OK? In fact, maybe I shouldn't call her Plastic Surgery Woman, she's right, that's an insult to women, most of whom probably don't want to be associated with her. And she's going on about my language, oh my language is so bad! It's so bad! And she's saying 'ohhhh, Trympov has no dignity! Trympov's a murderer! Trympov's dangerous!' Give me a break. And this is her first act in this Council, saying these horrible things? We need to get her outta here! Get her out!
Because really, I am the most pro-refugee person, and by the way, the torpedo order was given by Metodi Pravoslav, not me, so get your facts straight. And Pravoslaviya is actually pro-refugee, because since then you don't get boats led by yuman traffickers, who are some very evil people, probably almost as bad as Plastic Surgery Woman herself - and maybe she's involved in that, I don't know - but they can't exploit these folks anymore, and that's good. That's stopped a lot more people drowning, OK.
So Plastic Surgery Woman wants migrants to drown, and she wants them to give money to yuman traffickers. Why? That's an interesting question, isn't it folks? Why? And many people are saying, and I don't know but I hear these are very good people, they're trying to save people, they're holding Globalists to account, holding paedophiles to account, so maybe they're worth listening to, but they're saying Plastic Surgery Woman is a yuman trafficker. She makes money when migrants get on boats, and she makes money when the boats go down and everybody drowns. And that's so sad when that happens, when people die that's not good, but she's laughing, OK, behind the plastic surgery, and maybe it's hard to tell, but she's laughing.
Do we want someone like that in our Council? We don't want people like that in her Council. GET HER OUT! Go back to mommy. Go back to daddy. Get out, Cllr Lallana.
Cllr Dragan Trympov
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I respect the positions of the hereby present but I do not agree with this proposal.
Emma Granger
Councilor for Montenbourg -
I am very disappointed for yet another Malarkey presented in this Council. Childish proposals like these shall not be tolerated for it degrades and dishonours the true purpose of our assembly. While I will remain neutral on the issue behind this proposal, I will certainly not support any bill that gives nonsense. In addition, I want to echo the comments made by Deputy Councilor Linek. Your comments are the most immature that I have ever heard in this Council. And with all due respect, I am a women so how dare you call me 'mister'.
Yuridiana Yahontov
Councilor, Kingdom of Reitzmag -
Unsurprisingly, Councillor Trympov is once against being discriminative to the recently elected Inquistan Councillor, Bishop Karinn Lallana. I'm obviously opposed to this legislation, and I could vote for just to put more difficulties to a supposed Party of the European Left Council Majority, but would that be ethic? Would it be democratic and sane for the European Union to kick a democratically elected Councillor? I think it wouldn't. Furthermore, the European Council is the home of tolerance, of equality and freedom within the European Union. I don't stand any of the thoughts that the Party of the European Left proposes, but when it comes to kicking Councillors out for other reasons but craziness, it's a hard no from the European Progressive Alliance and a hard no. You have all my support on this, Councillor Lallana.
Donald Tusk
Deputy Speaker and Councillor for Spain -
Cllr Tusk is the leading paedophile in the European Progressive Alliance, or the Globalists, who I call Europe's biggest paedophile ring. They murdered Archbishop Craticus, tore him apart, quite literally, it's really nasty to watch, because he stood up to the paedophiles, and now, OK, they're going after me. That's fine, I don't mind that.
But folks, Cllr Lallana is in many ways worse, actually, than a paedophile. So Cllr Tusk, please, despite the fact that you're a paedophile, you like to do horrible things to kids, you take pictures and videos and you move them around and all sorts of horrible things - or so I hear, anyway, and I have it on pretty good authority, believe you me - let's do a truce, and agree to get this horrible women out of our Council. Agreed?
Cllr Dragan Trympov
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Debate is now over. Voting begins NOW and will last until 22:48 GMT on July 11th, 2021.
On behalf of the Kingdom of Spain, I vote AGAINST this act.
Donald Tusk
Deputy Speaker and Councillor for Spain -
This is Dragan Trympov. I vote FOR this beautiful Act!
100% of NON-paedophiles who have voted so far have voted for the Act, folks, just saying!
Cllr Dragan Trympov
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On behalf of the Republic of Istkalen, I vote, in contradiction with the ravings of my Deputy Councillor, AGAINST this act. That makes, then, Cllr. Trympov, only 50% of non-pedophiles, if we are to believe your accusations, so far having voted for the act.
Iras Tilkanas
Councillor for the Republic of Istkalen -
On behalf of the Democratic Republic of Czech Slavia, I vote AGAINST this act.
Václav Kohout
Councillor for Czech Slavia -
On behalf of the Most Blessed State of Inquista, I vote AGAINST this act.
Bp. Karinn Lallana
Councillor for Inquista -
On behalf of the Independent territorial collectivity of the Nofoaga Islands, I vote AGAINST this act.
Mrs. Paul-Gabrielle Muzhare
EU Councilor for the Nofoaga Islands -
On behalf of the Realm of Great Ruthund, I vote AGAINST this not-so beautiful Act.
Tony Odhinazen
EU Councilor, Ruthund -
On behalf of Montenbourg, I vote AGAINST this act.
Emma Granger
Councillor for Montenbourg
The Kingdom of Spain
